Tempest (Royce/Winston)

093

Jacob's P.O.V.

I was having another one of my depressive episodes. It had hit me hard, and it wasn't something that I was really expecting. I guess the stress with school and the frustration with the guys at lunch, and then the disappointment from Axel's journal entries along with my insecurity just had become too much.

I didn't go to school today because I felt like I should just stay home. My parents understood and my dad even took off work today so he could stay home with me. I was expecting us to both stay in our rooms and not really see much of one another, but that didn't happen. We actually sat down in the living room.

I was wrapped in a blanket and sitting on the couch. The TV was on, but I wasn't very focused on whatever show was playing. My dad was in the kitchen doing who knows what. I could hear him moving around and at times my curiosity peaked, but not to the point where I absolutely had to get up to see what he was doing.

It wasn't long before he walked into the living room. He was holding a serving tray and on the tray were two bowls. I watched him place the tray onto the coffee table.

"Are those..." I trailed off as he picked up one of the two bowls and gave it to me, along with a spoon. I managed to give him a barely there smile. "You made your donuts".

"I haven't made them in a long time".

"The last time was when Axel and I got along... We helped you make them and everything, just like how we used to do when we were little".

My dad hummed in confirmation and picked up his own bowl.

"Why did you make them?" I asked as I used my spoon to break apart the warm donut and scoop up some of the vanilla ice cream that was in the bowl too.

"I thought that maybe it could be a little pick me up" my dad answered truthfully, "I know you're not feeling that great today".

"Thank you".

We both ate in silence until my dad decided to speak again.

"Do you remember when you and your brother were younger and you both would help me make the donuts?"

I could vaguely remember, it was so long ago. I shook my head anyway.

"You two would bicker about whose donut looked more like a circle every time I let you guys shape them, and you would both get super messy. It was always a hassle to get the cinnamon sugar off of your faces and fingers".

I smiled weakly and continued to eat, "do you miss him?"

"Your brother?"

I nodded my head a little.

"I miss him every day".

It was quiet for a moment because I didn't know what to say.

"I miss him every day" my dad repeated, "but I see him every day too, but I know that it's not him, it's you. It's still a nice reminder of Axel though, I hope you don't mind".

I shook my head a little.

"I know you only remember bits and pieces of your childhood, but you and your brother were best friends. I remember when your mother and I found out that she was having twins... We were really excited and happy because we knew that you guys would always have one another. I never would've thought that... That one of you would leave at such an early age... That the other would try to as well".

"I'm sorry".

"I don't want you to feel guilty" my dad shook his head.

"I can't just not feel guilty... I bet I scared you really bad..."