Optimistic: Dave East

018: Torn Between 1&2

B E L L A D O N N A

"You love me?" I asked shocked.

"Yeah, I do. Don't you?" He asked grabbing my hand.

I looked at him. "I-- I love-" My phone rang. "David."

"What?" He stood up.

"No its David calling me." I said answering it. "Hey." I said a little to cheerfully.

"Hey beautiful just calling 'cause I left my ultra-sound pics with you."  Dave said. "Can I swing by and pick them up?"

I hesitated. "Umm..." I bite my lip. "Sure."

Clarence glared at me. I rolled my eyes. I got up not in the mood for my bath anymore. I drained the water. While Clarence just got up and stormed off. I turned on the shower, finally being able to face everything I have been thinking. I love you rung threw my head like the road runner. I couldn't think straight. I know one thing for sure. Threw four months of being with Clarence I knew I didn't love him. I did care for him, but pained to say, I still love David.

I finished up in the showering up. I put on lotion and coincidentally put on David's favorite perfume he got me. I let my hair down from its bun and put on a brown cardigan with a white tank top and leggings. He texted me that he was here and I grabbed the two ultra-sound pictures.

I bit my lip nervously. "Hey, I'll be right back, taking these pics to the baby daddy." I joked.

Clarence waved me off and continued sipping on his beer watching the game. "Okay."

I walked out of my apartment to David's car. He unlocked it as I got in. As soon as I got in I smelled his cologne. It smelled so good and it didn't make me gag like all of Clarence's did. They made me too sick to function. I sat down and immediately started getting cursed out.

"Its cold outside and you're wearing a tank top and leggings. You deadass tryna get fucked up." He took off his jacket putting it around my shoulders.

So demanding and daddyish. I giggled, shaking my head. "Since when are you my father?"

"I'm your daddy." He smirked.

I rolled my eyes. "Anyways, here are your pictures." I handed him the pictures.

Our hands touched again for the second time today. The first time was at the appointment and it made me forget Clarence was there and I know it was wrong thinking that. Then now... What am I suppose to do. I can't trust David. Not again. I can trust Clarence. He just has a little temper.

David looked at me. I looked back and he started to lean in but there was a knock at the window... It was Trey. Saved by the window knocking.

"Hi baby!" I waved at Trey and Yahmen. "I gotta go, okay?"

"Give me a kiss." He said.

"In your dreams lover boy." I gave him back his jacket and got out the car.

I got out the car clenching my hand to my chest and the other on the baby who was kicking the hell out of me. I looked at Yahmen and she already knew what was up. She sent Trey inside and she sat on her car crossing her arms.

"I don't like Clarence, but I don't like Dave either. Clarence makes you happy, but Dave made you happier before y'all had problems... You know you're hurting Clarence the more you lead him on?" Yah said.

"I'm not I really like Clarence, but I can't help the feelings that I have with David, but I know they will go away." I said.

She rolled her eyes. "And how do you know that? How do you know that for sure?"

"Because he hurt me. He cheated on me. Broke my heart and my trust. Clarence loves me and my baby, he told me that." I wiped my tears.

She got up and hugged me. "Then why are you crying?"

"Because I don't love him back. I'm suppose to love him back. He did everything for me and I don't feel it. All I feel is care and happiness that he was there for me, but I know I don't love him." I cried. "And I'm trying so hard to. I think about everything he has done for me and I still can't love him."

"You gotta let him go or you're gonna continue to make the feelings that he has for you grow stronger." She advised.

I cried harder. "But I care for him so much. What if all this turns into love? Maybe it's too early to say it."

She held me tighter. "You loved Dave in a short period of time and that's just how you're heart is. If you don't love Clarence now.. you won't ever and you and I both know that."

"But I have some type of love for him. Like I love that he is here for me and that he loves me. How he loves a child that's not his, how he goes out his way to take care of me, and how despite how his parents see me.. he always stayed around." I said. "I know I can get a grain of love from that to love him back."

She shook her head. "You can't go picking feelings just to try to love him. You gotta let him go."

"Then what go back to David? That makes me look bad." I sighed.

"Who cares? You can't help who you love. Plus he is the father of your child and you let him take your virginity, which is a big deal. Not to mention every time you two are around each other you can barely keep your eyes off each other." She explained.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll talk to you later." I got out the car.

I walked inside my condo to see Clarence with two big duffle bags next to him as he sipped on his beer. I guess he knew or maybe it was because I didn't say it back, but he was leaving me. I really cared for Clarence, I really did. But I knew where my heart and soul were.

"You're leaving?" I asked the obvious.

"I told you I loved you and you hesitated to say it back. So yeah, I'm leavin'." He said bluntly, obviously hurt.

I sighed. "I got love for you an-"

"And that's not the same thing as you loving me. I stood by you and treated you like a queen. So if you wanna go back to that dope slaggin nigga, so fuckin' be it." He shrugged.

"Clarence, I don't want no hard feelings." I pleaded.

"I put my heart on a pedestal, it really don't matter what you want." He yelled. He took a big gulp of his beer and threw it down making it break.

"Clarence." I yelled.

Trey ran out his room to me. "TiBi."

"It's okay I just dropped something go in your room, okay?" I smiled.

"Okay." He went in his room.

I turned back around. "Clarence calm down."

He fell on his knees crying. "I love you so much. And you chose him. You're so beautiful, caring, and intellectual. I wanted all of that with you. I need you."

I got down sitting next to him. My next words I would soon regret. "Just stay."

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Cuss me out lol. I know what y'all thinking. But here's y'all chapter so I can be lazy for a while. I think I did pretty good. But I'm going to sleep and y'all know what to do.

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Belladonna 🦄?

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