Optimistic: Dave East

019: Clarence

C L A R E N C E

I looked at Bella who was begging me to stay. I really felt like she needed me. That bitch ass nigga couldn't have what was mine. I loved her and that's why imma take care of her and my baby. I'm in it's life so it's my baby. That baby will be calling me daddy and I'll be there for his or hers first steps. I will be a better father than that bitch.

"Okay." I grabbed her hand pulling her into a hug. "I'll stay."

"Okay." She sniffled. "Good."

I held her for a while. I don't see why everyone hates me. Just pisses me off badly. The kid loves me but I don't care about that fuckin' kid. I just want Bella to myself but she comes with a package deal. A bastard kid and a bastard baby.

Just to make that nigga itch I'll play dad. Yahmen, that bitch gotta go. She always trying to bring out the bad in me. I really don't wanna ring her neck out honestly. I just hate having to do that... not after New Orleans, I was lucky to get those charges dropped cause I was careful.

My secrets will be hidden and I will do anything to keep them that way but the bitch is too nosy. She doesn't like Dave but she hates me! I don't fucking get it.

I could hear Bella unpacking my stuff while I drank my beer. I shouldn't be drinking this. I can't help it right now once I have started I can't stop. I need it though just to calm my nerves, I need to stop thinking so crazy.

The kid came out the room. "Cj? I can't sleep."

I composed myself because I really didn't give a fuck. "Come on, you can sleep with TiBi."

"Okay." He looked up at me smiling.

How can I put up this act? Why can't I have just Bella? I gritted my teeth thinking. But I do what I have to do to get just that. I led the kid to the room seeing Bella putting the duffle bag back in the closet.

"He's gonna sleep with you tonight. Imma take the couch." I said walking back towards the living room.

She looked at me worried. "What? Why? You can sleep with us too."

"Nah, tonight I'll take the couch. It's fine." I kissed her forehead.

I walked to the hallway closet grabbing a spare blanket and got myself comfortable on the couch. I had to make Bella feel guilty for a little bit so I can make her convince herself that she loved me. That's how I will truly get her.

B E L L A D O N N A

I woke up in the middle of the night from loud sounds of glass. I walked into the living room. I seen Clarence throwing away five beer bottles and an empty bottle of whiskey. I really think I took a stab at his confidence. I could tell he was drunk.

"Baby?" I called out to him.

I heard a stumble and mumbles. "Fuck..him... the kid everything."

I walked up to him grabbing his shoulder. "Babe."

He swung around yelling at me. "Why do you love him and not me? Fuck him! I'm here he's not!"

"Stop it." I tried to console him. "You're here and I know that okay."

"You're ignoring the simple fact you love him Belladonna. Like I love you." He grabbed my arms. "I don't wanna lose you. Do you hear me?"

"Stop Clarence. You're hurting my arms." I tried to pull away.

He laughed and let go. "Do you love me? Cause if you love a cheater like him then I don't want nothing to do with you."

"I do." I lied. I don't know why I lied.