| BOOK TWO IN THE SALVATION SERIES |
" I figure, when you've been hurt so much, danger doesn't faze you, pain doesn't hurt you. "
Avalon is a nightblood.
She finds herself trapped. If there was one thing she hated, it was being trapped. She could...
" there is no point in loosing yourself by trying to fix what's meant to stay broken. "
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The door slams shut, Dr.Tsling slipping out quietly. Quietly, as if she doesn't speak, she isn't killing someone who's barely lived. I pant heavily, despite my screaming lungs, despite my best efforts to hide my pain.
Yet it was excruciating.
The drill sits in front of my eyes, mocking me. A wimpy white patch is over my side, doing nothing to contain the blood spilling over the corners. What a waste.
Blood drips down my side, dribbling into my mouth, my fingertips hanging loosely in the air.
I can't move.
All I can do is limply hang from the dimly lit room by my ankles. My skin is freezing, longing for the warmth of clothes. My head pounds, my breathing is slow. My lungs hurt, more than they have in a while.
There are needles running in and out of me, my hair falling across my face like a curtain, blocking my veins. I wonder how they could even find a vein anymore.
I don't feel sorry for myself.
I feel sorry for the people who think I betrayed them, the people I've killed to protect them, only to have it be for no reason in the end.
It was like this every day.
I would have my bone marrow extracted by Tsing and Cage. Get a break in my cage. Wait upside down for my bones to heal a bit. All to preserve what the mountain so desperately needed.
I don't have much to focus on.
Instead, I lived in the what ifs.
What if I had escaped. How would I find Bellamy, Finn, Raven. What would I say, how would I hug them. What exactly would I tell Bellamy? Would Raven be okay, or would Murphy have killed her?
What if the person I've lived with all my life, was dead and I didn't even know it? I couldn't really mourn her, all I could mourn was the loss of my humanity, mourn my freedom. I was certain of my fate, the fate where the good-girl gone bad dies hanging upside down.
I wanted nothing more than to have another epic grease battle with the raven haired girl, only to end up getting scolded for wasting the Ark's rations.
I focus on the anger, at anything or anyone. I find myself getting mad at myself more often than anyone else. Why I failed them, why I couldn't do any better.
I was angry at myself for not trying harder, for not planning better. What if they were killing my friends, and it was because I couldn't get them out like I promised?
