| BOOK TWO IN THE SALVATION SERIES |
" I figure, when you've been hurt so much, danger doesn't faze you, pain doesn't hurt you. "
Avalon is a nightblood.
She finds herself trapped. If there was one thing she hated, it was being trapped. She could...
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| CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT |
" after the battle is when you're aloud to feel. but sometimes you feel too much. "
「✱ ➶ ♕ ♡ 」
Clarke, Bellamy and I find the dorms quickly enough, after having to see Jasper with Maya. That hurt the most, that I not only killed Maya along with all of those people, but Jasper's happiness. The mountain might've never stopped, but we didn't either. I find Raven with Wick, who lets me hug her gently, tears welling up in my eyes. "You didn't tell me it was this bad," She rasps, and I don't have enough strength in me to laugh. Blood covered her face, and I'm sure I didn't look much better after Dante. Seeing that room full of children and people who had nothing to do with it, and then Raven almost dead, makes me want to do nothing more than break down right here. But I know I can't, not in the room where people are trying to be free and are glad they're not dead. That has to wait until it's truly over. I don't even have the energy to find Cage, knowing I've taken everything from him. He was all alone.
I really am no better.
"You're gonna be alright," I muster, my voice cracking as I brush the hair back from her face, letting her squeeze my hand as tightly as she needs to get through the pain. I mutter a quiet thank-you to Wick, knowing he was there for her while I was with the grounders. He nods, not looking much better than Raven, causing me to wonder what went down at the dams.
We had won, but no one in this room felt like we won. This felt like the worst loss yet.
"You can't get rid of me," She chokes out, coughing hard in Wick's arms, lips stained red. I hate that she had to know this pain, that she now can relate to the thing that made me hate myself, that caused the anger to make me kill those people. But I still did. I had the choice to overlook it, be gracious and I didn't.
I squeeze her hand, sniffing to stifle the tears in my eyes from her pain. "Good. I need you," I whisper quietly, finally admitting that I couldn't do any of this on my own. If Raven had died today, I would've too. I can't loose her too, that would be too much. I hardly feel human now, but if that happened-- I'm not sure how I'd loose it.
I glance over my shoulder as someone brings her a blanket, the brunette falling asleep easily. My eyes meet Bellamy's, and I suddenly just need him close. It's almost in that same instant I watch his shoulders slump, eyes softening from the realization of what really went down. He needs someone, just as much as I need him. I bound over to him quickly, flinging my arms around his neck, letting relief break through. I hadn't earlier, because it wasn't over. But now it is, and he's okay. Okay as it can be, the both of us worn and exhausted, not sure how we would get over this.
"I love you," I mutter, burying my head in his neck, breathing him in, allowing myself to feel. Few tears slip through, and I know that Bellamy knows, his own body tensing. He hardly cried, but this might just get it. He spent time in here, with Maya and these people that helped them, and we both pulled that lever.
