| BOOK TWO IN THE SALVATION SERIES |
" I figure, when you've been hurt so much, danger doesn't faze you, pain doesn't hurt you. "
Avalon is a nightblood.
She finds herself trapped. If there was one thing she hated, it was being trapped. She could...
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CHAPTER FOURTY- FOUR " sure, her soul had hardened from all she'd been through. but it didn't take away her heart. "
「✱ ➶ ♕ ♡ 」
"Heda?" I call quietly after waiting a few moments for Clarke to leave. Wondering what was up with them and their constant bickering, sort of reminded me of Bellamy and I when the dropship landed. It only made my heart ache more, slowly hardening me into a shell because I was never focused on the now. It's always what's next to keep us alive, how many more steps ahead you need to think. My mind finally accepted that, trained to behave like a clock.
"Come in," Her voice calls, and I mostly was just wanting to speak to her about anything. The brunette was younger than me, and seeing Laken more human than I'd thought possible, made me wonder what Lexa hides behind the cold exterior. The only people I've ever seen her smile around are my father and the children she prepares to die. The room smells of a vented candle, the hushed voices outside dimming like the skylight. When I duck under the tarp, she's standing in front of the council table, staring at the model armies in front of her.
I study her for a moment, the clean face without anything to hide. It showed that she truly cared, didn't want to lead her people into a massacre. It makes me wonder who taught her that, because most grounders I've met just want the fight. But then again, the drop ship battle made me biased. It was the thing to take me away from my family. "How are you?" I fiddle with the ends of my hair that come together in a loose braid, questioning how she took the bombing. Too many people died there, too many days were wasted.
"Fine," She dismisses quickly, to which I scoff, plopping myself down in a chair beside her. Normally, this would be seen as wrong, myself being the second who needs to stand at attention. It was mostly to make her more comfortable, feel like she had a friend. We can blame it on the thigh wound, but it seems to me the brunette could use someone.
I roll my eyes. "If that's what you want to say," I mumble, pulling the blade out from my thigh holster and trailing my pointer finger against it. The shiny metal reminded me of when Finn died, the dagger similar to the one from the woods. It almost makes me shudder at the thought. I'm not necessarily different now, but I've not given up yet. I still blame myself and wonder if it'd be better without me, but I owe it to my friends to save them, and I owe it to Bellamy to save myself. And all I can say is that I'm trying. Trying not to be alone. "Would you mind telling me about my mom?" I ask simply, wanting to know more about the lives that should be the most important to be. But under the circumstances aren't. Lexa pauses her movements, and I can see the way her fingers grip a little tighter onto the table. "It's okay. I don't blame anyone anymore."
Her shoulders relax at that, no doubt releasing the guilt she carried for having been on the loving side of my parents instead of the abandonment one. I cannot quite forgive Andrew yet, never figuring out how to deal with the fact that they chose the baby over me. I'm not mad, just— empty. Wondering what if. "You're strong like her. You both are," Lexa says quietly, spinning around carefully to lean against the table. To be honest, I'm surprised to even get that much.
