Sang the Stray (Completed)

54. S4-Report

I wasn't sure if she was just tired from the rotations or if it was something else, but my Peanut was not her usual bright self.  She walked with shoulders slumped and a clouded expression on her face.  Sometimes, I wished I was more like the Doc, Gabriel or Luke, who could always make her laugh.  Or Victor or Silas with their smooth words.  Kota and North had nearly opposite ways of distracting her.  And don't get me started on that barely-there, no-more-than-twitch-of-lips 'smile' that Tsee Blackbourne sometimes gives.  She absolutely lights up for that nonsense.

I feel like all I ever do is push her harder and harder during our training sessions.  But, pathetically, I live for those sessions when it is just the two of us.  Watching her determination as she works to get stronger is intoxicating.  The way she bites her lip while concentrating is fucking sexy. The way she speaks Taren is fucking sexy, too, even when she uses the wrong words or mispronounces something. 

I think I've become a bit obsessed over her mouth.  I picture myself kissing her like one of Luke's ridiculous daydreams.  And, Ends to Muina, when she chews on my finger, I have to concentrate on...well, whatever non-sexual thing I can think of first.  Otherwise I start thinking of her lips around...Shit, don't even go there Nate! Think Tunnels Rotation...or that absurd Ionoth cat...or..oh, that will do it: walking in on North naked.  Yup, problem solved.

We finally arrive at the apartment and my heart feelx a pang.  She looks so forlorn, and now she'll be left here alone.  I cup her chin gently to gain her attention. Muina help me, those eyes are beautiful.

"Hey, Peanut, I'll be back soon," I try to reassure her.

She sighs and gives me a subdued smile.  "I know. I be fine," she says, unconvincingly.

I pull her into a hug and rub small circles on her back. She sags, relaxing into my hold and wrapping her smaller arms as far as she can reach around me to return the hug.

"You should get some rest.  And I will make sure someone brings up something from the dining hall," I say and then she pulls back slightly to look up at me again.  "You like the baidou stew, right?"

Her 'yes' is barely more than a mumble and her eyes are looking moist.

Please Muina, don't let her cry...don't let her cry...don't...shit...there's a tear.  I can't take it anymore. 

I crush my lips to hers.

At first, she tenses in surprise, but then her lips start moving under mine, pressing back.  I instinctively pull her body more tightly to mine, allowing a hand to slide down to her hip and then knead the lower back muscles.  She lightly moans and I knew we need to stop.  Besides, the others are waiting. 

Shit, the others.  The 'meeting' we had some time ago is the last thing I want to think of now, but it comes roaring to the forefront of my mind, and effectively cooling me down.

I pull back and release her.  She looks better now, skin flushed and lips bruised, but better...with a real smile.  A smile that is all for me.

I give her another short peck and another reminder to rest, then leave before I do something else rash and stupid. Like tell her I love her.

Travelling back through KOTIS to the Gate Lock left me too much time to think.  I couldn't keep my thoughts from turning to the shit meeting.  Tsee Blackbourne had laid out the arrangement that First and Second Squad had. He pretty much encouraged us to all pursue relationships with Sang, either individually or otherwise.  There had been a lot of yelling.  Not anger, but confusion and questions.  Mostly, I think denial on my part.  I had seen her interactions with the others, but that suddenly put a while new light on things.  And than came the confessions.  All of us were developing feelings for her.  Well, actually, I am not sure about Blackbourne. He was really quiet except for keeping order.  Then came a debate on 'proper behaviors' and 'boundaries', which mostly boiled down to 'let Sang lead' and 'no sex until conditions x, y, and z had been met'.  Ugh, and then Ista Green have us all The Talk all over again.I

The biggest surprise was when North made the first declaration that he was willing and would obey.  I had been dumbfounded.  He always would obey, but the willing part was usually missing.  This time, his delivery was cool and determined.  None of the fireworks, I had expected.  I suspected he had known about this ahead of time and had already processed it.  Silas chimed in agreement, patting North on the back.  Which meant they'd definitely already discussed this.  Luke, with a dreamy expression, agreed next, followed by a conflicted Gabriel.  Sean and Victor were next, their responses neutral.  I hesitated when I realized I was next up, but though I now simmered with jealousy, gave my acceptance.  Kota and Tsee Blackbourne were the last left. Kota was busy counting...like to a quantum parsec, I think...but he took a deep breath and declared he was willing and would obey.  Then Blackbourne quietly repeated the phrases and it was done. No one said anything after that, just went separate ways.

When I reached the Gate Lock, Tsee Blackbourne's arms were crossed and his eyes narrowed. Sean's face whipped to Blackbourne with surprise.  They must be chatting on a private channel.  Shit. Blackbourne must have seen something in my aura. 

"Well, Nathaniel," Sean looked at me and smiled smugly.  "Welcome to the club."

Shit.  That meant the fucker had also kissed her.  And if he said 'club', then who the fuck  else had kissed her?

Victor narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but didn't have a chance to say anything. Tsee Blackbourne was leading us back into the Gate Lock.

Shit. I was going to spend the entire time on this extra mission thinking about the others kissing her. Fuck.