Incognito You

Before It Explodes

/'Grief is the last act of love we have to give to those we love.
Where there is deep grief, there is great love.'
-Bible Verse/

I'm scanning the test results one by one with the panel of Doctor's headed by Neurologist Dr. Martinez. Nalaman ko din na pinadala na pala ng St. Luke's and test result ng Ophthalmologic Exam niya.
The result for the Computerized Tomography (CT) Scan and Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) came back with alarming finding's.
The more comprehensive test, which is the Cerebral Angiogram, only confirms what we all suspect.

"Unruptured Brain Aneurysm."

Dr. Matinez pointed out a 2D image of a bulge in Rhian's brain vessel. Dr. Bautista, the Ophthalmologist, nod and shake his head.

"The moment I read the Ophthalmologic Exam result, naalarm na agad ako, something was off. I send it back urgent pero too late na."

"The patient has been in an endovascular stroke before falling in to a coma for a week now. We must act fast and lay down our options. We need to talk to the family."

Said Dr. Guzman, the Neuroradiologist, I silently push a piece of paper in the middle of the round table. Sabay silang napalingon sa akin, I'd been silently observing and studying Rhian's case file since the beginning of this brainstorming.

"The family gave me total authority to medically decide on their behalf. Dr. Guzman is right, every minute is vital kaya dapat may decision na tayo before we leave this room. Dr. Martinez, as the more seasoned Doctor in the room, im asking you to lay down all options possible to save her life."

Huminga siya ng malalim bago dinampot and white board pen and eraser. Nagsulat ito sa white board na nasa harapan namin. All three Doctors are wearing lab gowns maliban sa akin, hindi ako affiliated sa hospital na ito kaya walang sense na maguot ako.

"Surgical Clipping or Endovascular Coiling. We must decide which of the two procedure, we must act fast before it explodes."

Parang sinasaksak ang puso ko sa sakit but im trying to be as professional and as logical as possible because if I allow my emotions to get the best of me, mas lalo akong hindi makakapag isip ng maayos.

Even if Neurology is only my sub-forte, im familiar with the potential risk of the mentioned procedure.

In surgical clipping, a portion of her skull will be removed to access aneurysm and locate the portion that feeds blood into it, then, a tiny metal clip will be place on the neck of the aneurysm to stop the blood from flowing.
Since its an open brain surgery, it high risk and high rewards scenario with a success rate of 40 win / 60 loss.

Endovascular Clipping however is a less invasive procedure, a catheter is inserted to the artery in the patient's groin and threads to the aneurysm itself, then, a soft platinum wire travels through the catheter and coils up inside the aneurysm, disrupts the blood flow and eventually seals off the aneurysm.
But this procedure may require higher risk because the aneurysm have the possibility of reopening.

"I believe I don't have to explain this procedure Dr. De Castro and im pretty sure you are aware of the possible complications and the success rate of each choice."

Dr. Martinez has a point, life threatening ang parehong procedure and the ball in on my court now, kailangan kong magdecide.
Rhian's life is on the line.

On the outside, I look so compose and emotionless. But inside, my hearts is in a deep slumber kagaya ni Rhian. One week na siya sa coma and everynight I beg her to wake up, to come back to me.

"So what's its gonna be Dr. De Castro?"

Dr. Bautista ask, I close my eyes and hold back my tears, even in darkness I can see Rhian's holy face, waving at me like she's really there.