Incognito You

Moving Mountains

/'Not everyone deserves a second chance.'
-Anonymous/

Glaiza

I'm tapping the steering wheel while patiently waiting for the traffic light to turn green. I have two cars ahead of me in this busy intersection. Edsa highway, which is the fastest possible way considering its 3:30 in the morning is unfortunately close due to some road improvements. So, I have to take the long way and go around Mandaluyong to get to St. Luke's. My GPS read the ETA at 4:10 am.

I don't understand what to exactly feel right now. When the nurse called about an hour ago, she told me Rhian is having a seizure and when you are in a coma for a year, a single seizure can finish you off or wake you up.

The line was cut off so I rush to my car and hit the road as fast as I can, I almost forgot to change my clothes.

My hands shakes even more as the minute passed, I decided to call Tita Amanda.

"Hello Tita Good morning po, yes po, im on my way na din..........im not sure Tita, the nurse told me she's having a seizure...let's meet at the hospital na lang po...okay Tita..ingat po."

I slid the phone in my back pocket and focus back on my driving, malapit lang ang bahay ni Tita sa hospital, chances are sila ang unang makakarating.

Hindi gaanong malakas ang aircon pero nanginginig ang tuhod ko na parang nanlalambot. Im familiar with this kind of situation, im hoping for the best but im preparing my heart for the worst.

Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko if I arrived at the hospital with Rhian covered in white sheets. The idea is sending tears to my eyes. Medically speaking, the longer the person stays in a coma, the slimmer the chances are na magisisng siya. 6 months ago, Dr. Martinez already recommended for Euthanasia or in lay mans term, Mercy Killing. Muntik ko na siyang masuntok ng i-open up niya un.

Few blocks more and I'll reach the hospital parking. I whisper a prayer to calm myself down.

"Papa Lord....im hoping for a good news po...not hoping pala..im begging for a good news...you know all my hearts desire Papa Lord, wala po akong maitatago sa inyo, marami po akong gusto mangyari but Papa Lord...let your will be done...thank you po."

With my silent and modest prayer, gumaan ang pakiramdam ko, i could feel my heart beat normally.

"Thank you Papa Lord...you're the best."

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Glaiza

Natatanaw ko na ang entrance ng ICU room ni Rhian, naghahabulan ang daga sa dibdib ko pero hindi ko pinapahalata. Hindi na ako dumaan sa nurse station.
Mas bumibigat at lumalalim ang paghinga ko sa bawat hakbang,

"Have faith...have faith...have faith..."

I keep mumbling the words hanggang makarating ako sa tapat ng pinto.
Naririnig ko na mula sa kinatatayuan ko ang hikbi ni Tita Amanda at Alden, mas lalong nangatog ang tuhod ko.
Nakawhite blouse in black buttons and faded blue jeans with high cut black boots ako, inayos ko ng kaunti ang aking buhok, im really hoping na buhay na Rhian ang makaharap ko or kahit tulog pa din, kahit anong version ng buhay na Rhian tatangapin ko.

Huminga ako ng malalim bago tinulak ang pinto, nakatingin pa rin ako sa sahig habang humahakbang papasok.

Natahimik ang lahat sa pagpasok ko, pati ang malakas na hikbi ni Tita ay dahan dahang humina.
Napapalibutan ang higaan ni Rhian ng tatlong nurse, si Dr. Martinez, sina Tita, Alden at Maine.
Nakaturn off na din ang screen ng heart at vitals monitor. Pati ang feeding tube ay naitapon na din sa basurahan.
Patakbong yumakap si Alden sa akin, kasunod si Tita at Maine.