Sleepover (fack)

R

Finns POV

I stare at the wall like I have been the entire day. Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life. After jack left I ran into my car and drove home crying all the way there. I haven't eaten or slept since I got home yesterday. I've just sat, then cried, then watched tv, then cried some more. I start to replay the event over in my head again. I see jack get into the car, and wipe his nose on his sleeve. All of a sudden I feel sick and run into the bathroom. I throw up nothing, since there is nothing to throw up. I haven't drank either. I feel like I don't deserve water or food or anything. I have cut myself about twenty times since yesterday. A thought pops into my head. Oh god, I have school in a week. I gather my phone and keys and throw on a black beanie before making my way to the store to buy school supplies.

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When I walk into the store I pick up a basket, and make my way to the back where all the school supplies are. When I reach there I hear a faint laugh, and quickly recognize it as jacks. It's just your imagination. Just get what you need and get out. I walk over to the end of one of the isles and see a mother and her daughter shopping. I smile and wave at the little girl and before she can do anything, the mother grabs her by the hand and pulls her down the isle away from me. Bitch. But then I remember what I must look like since I haven't taken a shower or slept in two days. I shrug it off an walk to the end of the isle. When I step out I hear jacks laugh again but I know this time I'm just imaging it. When I look up I see a short boy with green eyes and hazel colored hair. I scan up to see a somewhat smaller boy standing on his shoulders. It's jack. I drop my basket and run out of the store tears threatening to fall out of my eyes the entire time. When I finally make it to my car I hop in and punch my window. Hard. My knuckles start to bleed and the window is smeared with blood. I suck it up and start blasting Nirvana with my windows down. I pull into a gas station on my way home. I rush into the bathroom washing my hand of any blood. I don't want anyone asking what happened cause I don't really feel like explaining. I walk up to the counter and buy a pack of cigarettes. Two actually. This calls  for some cigs. I walk back to my car and look at my window which is splattered with blood. "Shit!" I mumble under my breath, my voice coming out much more hoarse than I thought. I grab some napkins from inside my car and wipe away the blood. When I'm seated back into my car I pull out of the parking place and start to drive home, blasting Nirvana the entire time. I smoke two more cigarettes while on my way home. I get disgusted looks from people driving by. I don't care. I walk into my house and drop onto my bed. I run to the bathroom and use my razor to make thin clean cuts all over my arms, thighs, ankles. Everywhere. Surprisingly it doesn't hurt. I guess I just feel like I'm already dead. I run outside and grab a large rock. When I come back inside I mercilessly throw it at my legs and arms. Smacking the rock as hard as I can on my hands, hoping to shatter bones. When I feel like I have done enough I get up and look at myself in my full length mirror. Just in my boxers now I can see everything. I look like a disgusting zombie. I throw on a hoodie and fall into bed. Face down. Trying to suffocate myself.

I had an awful day today and I feel like absolute shit.