+Tf2 x Reader2+

Dirty (xSniper)

+Author's note
Admit it, Sniper would totally do this.

"TU ES UN IMBÉCILE!"

"Look, Oi said Oi wos sorry spook-"

"I ended up dropping zhe suitcase because of 'ou!!"

"-Well Scout got in tha end din' he?"

You turned your head towards the door when you heard the two bickering in the hallway.

"Look spook, Oi said Oi'll troi to-"

A slam of the door ended the argument, and Sniper came mumbling into the room, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Hey babe, what happened out there?"

The leather couch gave out a sigh as Sniper plumped onto it.

"Eh, didn't snoipe the Heavy behind Spoi fast enough. Ended up bitchin' about it all tha way here"

The aussie gave a yawn and stretched. Placing an arm around you and resting his feet up the coffee table, he was more than ready to spend a lazy afternoon with you.

"Hmmn wot's on?"

"The Bachelorette is on in 5, wanna get some snacks?"

"Where's tha chips we got yesterday?"

"Oh right, I left them in Engie's truck, can you get the soda?"

"Alroight luv," he grunted, getting up. No less than 4 strides brought the lean australian to the door, but to both of your surprises, (and Spy's) Sniper came face to face with the said Frenchman.

"Ugh, as if it weren't bad enough we live under zhe same roof, I 'ave to see 'our filzy face everywhere?!"

Sniper turned to you, a look of offence came over his face.

"Didya hear that (Y/n)? He called me filthy"

You shot a glare back at him.

"Don't you dare Sniper. Not in front of the others"

He gave a large sniff; "It's true innit? Oi'm a downright filthy assassin!"

Spy exchanged glances between you, clearly confused at the situation at hand.

"What iz-"

'-You're roight spook, ya got me", Sniper wiped a fake tear away. "Oi'm absolutely filthy!"

With that, Sniper ripped a huge fart in Spy's direction.

You quickly hid your face in embarrassment from your boyfriend while Spy screamed and ran out of the room, Sniper's howls of laughter chasing after him.

"Sniper you fucking idiot!"

"Wot?" he wiped tears of laughter away.
"He started it!"

+++

After the rec room cleared the smell of eggs, (many of the mercs' relief) You all ended up at the dinner table eating Pyro's roast for the day.

"So I'm tellin' ya! Dhere's no way he coulda gotten outta dhere without a trick!"

"Now hol' up just a minute, yeh can't seriously think tha' it's all fake can yeh?"

"Heavy also thinks Scout is right-"

The ongoing conversation about escape artists went around the table, while Spy angrily glared at his food while he chewed quietly.