Balanced Breakfast (Sam x Reader)

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Sam/"Do you really need all that candy?" requested on deviantart

Sam shook his head as he watched you heave 3 large bags of candy on the checkout counter.

"You realize this was supposed to be a food run, right? Like for meals."

"Yeah.... that's why I got 3 bags. Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner," You said pointing at each bag.

"Those are literally the bags you get when you're handing out candy on Halloween."

"I know. And lucky for you, it's not Halloween so they're on sale. I saved you like 10 dollars, you're welcome." He shook his head at you again. "Hey, I didn't say anything about your food did I? You literally bought a bag of lettuce. About 50 snide remarks passed through my head when you grabbed that bag, but did I say anything? No. You could at least give me the same courtesy."

"Okay but my food is at least edible for humans."

"Is it tho?" you asked.

"Yeah it is." You grabbed the plastic package of lettuce and pointed at a small badge in the corner that read "Ideal for rabbit consumption!". You raised an eyebrow and Sam grabbed the bag from you and put it back on the counter.

The people in front finished paying so Sam pushed your items toward the cashier. The young girl looked at the items questionably before looking up at him.

"This it for you?"

"Yeah just the lettuce and the candy."

-

Trees flew past as you and Sam sprinted through the woods. Ahead you could hear the snapping of twigs as the werewolf attempted to flee. You made a hard right when you suddenly felt a lurch in your stomach. You brushed it off but when it happened again you slowed to a stop, hunching over and bringing a hand to your mouth. Sam stomped to a halt beside you.

"(y/n) what is it!"

"It's nothing just go I'll catch up."

"But-"

"Go or we're gonna lose him!"

Sam sped off after the monster leaving you alone to fight off the urge to be sick...

-

Somewhere along the way the werewolf had managed to lose Sam. Sam was about to double back when a shot rang out to his right. He hurried to the source of sound and found you standing over the monster's corpse, smoking gun in hand.

"I found a shortcut," you said. Sam smiled and walked over.

"Lucky you. Hey are you alright? You look a little pale." You waved a hand at him.

"I'm fine. I just threw up like 3 times on the way here that's all." He crossed his arms and stood tall with a smirk on his face.

"Oh really? Gee I wonder what could have caused that."

"Listen. Just because I ate 3 pounds of candy does not mean-"you paused when you felt your stomach flip again. You regained your composure and continued. "Does not mean that-that-" you couldn't finish the sentence. You ran to the nearest tree for support and heaved out your insides all over the forest floor. The next second Sam was at your side, holding your hair back.

"Yeah, you need a vegetable. And some water," Sam said as you finished.

"I don't need a vegetable I feel great." Sam raised an eyebrow at you. "Alright, fine. But only if the vegetable is a potato. It's the only acceptable vegetable there is."

"Fine. A potato," he laughed.

"And it needs to be cut in rectangles. And fried." He smiled and kissed your forehead.

"You wish."

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(A/N) Sam would be horrified if he saw how much sugar I consume on a daily basis. 

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