Kaleidoscope

Chapter 8

"Erm, i have always felt different from my peers and surroundings. Even as a child" Seth started, clearing his throat and looking anywhere but my eyes. "My parents were also distant. Not even distant, they were actually never there" he added, but there seems to be no emotion in his eyes. "I used to care whenever i see everybody else with their parents, but now I accept it. They're almost mythical to me. And i'm okay with that" he said.

I interrupted him "are you sure?" i asked. Seth looked at me with what seems like flames in his eyes "i just said it. I'm pretty darn sure" he said. He might be startling, but it isn't the first time i've seen those eyes. He wouldn't hurt me. "Would you be happier if they were here?" I said. Seth looked at me with the same flame in his eyes "how am I supposed to know?" he said. The tone of his voice sounded a little bit aggressive, and I start to realize that it isn't an easy thing to talk about. Especially to Seth, it must've been such a hard thing to live with. "Just to make sure.. Because I can deny it but my parents not being around do leave a mark on me" I said honestly.

Seth said "that's you. I don't like thinking about it, it used to be in my head all the time but now, it's ungraspable. It has always been, I just had hopeless hope." 

"There are times I think that way too" I said. 

Seth swallowed a lump in his throat then changed the subject "Anyway, man... it'll sound silly if I say it but I hate it when people are shallow and narrow minded" he said. I nodded to show i'm listening, and he continued "when they judge you so strongly based from first impressions or what they think they know about me, it just makes me feel so... " he stopped. I looked at him but he avoided my eyes yet again "you know what.. it's silly. You should go back to your room" he said while looking down.

"No" I said. Seth looked at me, and I continued "I have more snack bars to consume. I don't want to." Seth sighed, then stood up from the chair he's sitting on "then i'll go. Goodnight Faye, I had fun talking to you" he said with a slight smile. I find myself getting angry as he walked towards the door. Of course I can sound like I'm pushy, but I can't accept how he still smiles and walks away as if it's not important. I approached him and held the back of his jacket, earning a reaction "why are you so interested in talking to me?" he said, looking at me with a slightly judgemental expression.

I swallowed a lump in my throat at his intense glare "I don't like how you hold back" I said. What is up with me tonight that made me so brave? Is it because I'm very tired? 

Seth's shoulders relaxed and he faced me "I don't know what you're talking about. What if i just don't want to talk about it now?" he said. I feel even more remorse from my actions, even embarrassment "just try to listen to me, okay? I don't want you to be stressed about it alone" I said, remembering Mikaela. She would never let go of an opportunity to help someone. I realized that because Mikaela is always in my mind even though she's not around me anymore, I want to keep her alive inside of me. I want to have her as a part of me so that I'm never truly alone or without her.

Seth smiled at my response then said "thank you... Well I'll tell you this then. My head is throbbing from everything but uh.." for the first time ever, I heard him hesitate "maybe i'll embarrass myself by talking too much. That's all" he said. I tried for the very last time "I understand, but I don't like your choice. I told you about me, it wasn't easy but I feel much better now" I said. Seth nodded with the corners of his mouth turned down "I understand why you don't like my choice" he said softly.

There was silence between us. I want to say many things so the silence is horrible. Seth broke it "do you want to go up now?" he said. 

"Yeah, I'll go to my room soon" I said.