Her smile... a Zayn Malik fan fiction

And the truth comes out...

Zyns pov.

"about two minutes after she got in i heard her room phone ring and... i answered it thinking that it was the hotel management or something you know? but when i answered it turned out to be ...."

i couldnt say it. i choked i couldnt tell them before i even told her! i mean thats what i would want if i was in her place.

"im sorry guys i cant tell you, i have to tell April first. she has the right to know before you do ."

and as i started to walk away towards April's room i heard 

"oh yea build the suspence and then dont tell us anything"

"Louis shut up"

i don't know what i would do if i were in April's situation. i mean Ive never known anyone that acted more mature then Liam. but April had a reason to. i mean sure she didn't tell me much about her except for some school stuff that made no sense, but never went into anything too personal. like when i asked her what she was doing here she avoided the question and changed the subject. i want to know so much more about her but she wont let me through maybe when she sees that i can help her, and that i will be here for her right now that she needs somebody the most. sure she has Mindy but i want to prove to her that no matter what is going on in her life that she can trust me and that i will always love her no matter what.

my eyes widend as i realised what i had just thought.... i love her? 

i mean yea shes different but i cant love her... at least not yet i mean i just met her yesterday and there's no way that i i can love her already. like yea i can and i do i like her allot but i cant love her... at least not yet.

 as i finally regained my senses i made my way to her door i was about to knock when i heard the girls talking i know i shouldn't but i listened in trying to figure out what mood she was in and just generally what happened....

"omg!! he kissed you omg why is that bad?! why were you crying?"  im pretty sure that was mindy

"remember when we barley found out about my moms cancer?"

there was a brief silence...well at least she already knew that her mom was sick that would make it easier to break the new...not.

"OK so that day i could see the sadness in moms eyes she looked like all her world came falling down and well at that moment so did mine..." 

then i heard a little sniffle coming from I'm assuming April, and it took all my willpower not to just burst in and try and comfort her...

 "shh honey its okay aunties going to get better you know she is"

that line... that little sentence broke my heart  and i just wanted to leave and cry my self out because i would be the one to break her heart... 

i tried to walk away but my feet seemed planted to the floor 

" but wait what does that have to do with Zayn kissing you?"

"well after her first few chemo sessions i could tell she was really tired, whenever i was around she would smile but i could tell her smile was fake and that she was hurting, so on one of the days that she couldn't even fake a smile i broke down and i promised her that i wouldn't smile again, not until she was truly happy her self, she told me there was no need and that  that day was just a hard day and that she really was happy. after that day i haven't smiled"

i tried to ignore her word close my ears and just not let her sad word come to me because i knew she wouldn't want me to hear any of this....yet i stayed and i listened.

"but when Zayn kissed me earlier it felt...right. i felt like it was okay to be happy and that i was Finlay free to be my self again. that it was okay for me to be my old teenage self and not this robot grown up seventeen year old, that kiss was so perfect and for my first kiss i couldn't have imagined anything better except that that kiss made me smile"

oh my god it was her first kiss...that's just great Malik! great job! first you steal her first kiss and now your going to literally break her heart! maybe even kill her!

i decided that it was now or never. i couldnt keep listening to all the ways that i probably hurt her.

i knocked before they could say anything else that would literally tear me apart, and after a few seconds of shuffling around i saw her warm brown sad eyes

how could i tell her?

"hey can i talk to you please?"

"ummm Zayn i really don't think i can or should talk to you right now..."

"look April i know that you don't want to talk to me right now but this is very important and it has nothing to do with us it ....its about your mom"

"how do you know about my mom? what happened?"

"when you were showering the hospital called... "

"omg i have to go! did they tell you what happened? did she relapse again? or do they need more blood? ZAYN WHAT HAPPENED?! WHAT DID THEY TELL YOU!?"

 she was crying and holding on to my shirt collar... i couldn't do it i couldn't be the one to break her heart...

"she didn't make it" i whispered i doubted that she even heard  me but the fact that she let go of my collar and her eyes widened and her tears rolled down her face faster than ever before

"no...no... no she cant we... we were going to move to san diego she was better shE WAS DOING BETTER SHE CANT BE DEAD! NO MY MOM CANT BE DEAD ! NO!"

her voice was shaky as she cried and i couldn't do anything but try and control her and hold her in my arms as she balled her eyes out... why did i have to break her? she would never trust me again... she probably hates me because i was the one to find out that her mother died before she did and she probably didn't even want me to know.

"i have to go see her"

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well i know you guys didn't expect this at all. i know some one expected to have her ex calling her or something like that but yea no lol.  but i just have to say that i was tearing up as i wrote the last part, because i cant imagine ever loosing my mom shes my best friend and she means everything to me, so yea this was hard for me to write.

but yea tell me what you guys think!

comment !!! 

also if you guys know any good 1D fan fics that are COMPLETE let me know (mssg me!,) because I'm already reading a couple that aren't complete so i want to read some that are complete lol

but yea COMMENT! please