Chapter Fifty Four.Always and forever, Grayson.

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Edited.

Song for this chapter: Lord  Huron- The night we met.

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. -Washington Irving.

If you were to ask me just over a year ago where exactly I saw myself today, I would have answered either in bed suffering from a bad case of a hangover, or getting ready for another party that night.

If you were to ask me three months ago where I seen myself today, I would answer in Grayson's arms with no uncertainty hidden in my voice.

But no amount of time could have prepared me for this. No amount of words in the dictionary were enough to explain just how I was feeling at this moment in time. I was numb all over, my mind blank and my emotions hidden. 

I was a shadow of the happy, full of life and love Libby Johnson that my friends knew by heart. I was now the girl they first met, the damaged girl who masked a fake smile on her face as she walked down the school corridor careful not to look in any guy's directions.

A soft knock to my bedroom door took me out of my head wracking thoughts, ''Libby, are you dressed?'' A familiar voice called from behind the door.

I looked at myself in the mirror glazing at my black lace dress that ended just under my knees, it was my Mother's from a few years back. ''Yeah'' I answered back solemnly, my voice hasn't yet found its way back to me but my low voice was better than no voice as I had been told.

Slowly my wooden door began to open as a familiar, tired skinned face appeared. ''You look beautiful'' Blake complimented. I gave him a small smile in return not knowing exactly just how to answer as I fixated myself to turn and take in his appearance. 

He wore a black suit and tie and a grim expression on his normally smiling face. ''You look great'' I complimented back lamely. I wanted to sound sincere but instead, my voice came off artificial and not at all genuine as I had hoped.

I didn't hesitate to take his outstretched hand in mine as we walked out of my bedroom together. I let out a nervous breath as we paused at the top of the staircase, looking down there was my Mother, Gabriela, and Jackson clad in all black as they watched me with worried eyes as though I would break any second.

''You're okay'' Blake whispered down into my ear, noticing my uneasiness ''I've got you''.

Those five words were what I was accustomed to hearing at least three times a night as I woke up screaming and gasping for breath as the nightmares of prom came back to haunt me. My voice may have been coming back, but the nightmares remained.

I gave him the only smile my broken soul could muster which I knew must have came off as fake but he didn't speak about it as we began to walk down the stairs with his hand wrapped tightly around my waist. 

''Oh hunny, you look beautiful'' Mom complimented.

''We know for sure Grayson will be looking down at you today'' Jackson winked trying to ease the saddened atmosphere in the room. The sly look on his face left as soon as it had appeared once he realized now was not the time for cocky remarks.

Mom hit on the back of the head with narrowed eyes as he apologized to me but I quickly waved it off thankful that at least one person had the courage to not act like a zombie. Grayson wouldn't have wanted that.

But I just couldn't help but act like that. Not when I knew Grayson should be here and none of us should be in this situation at all.

                                                                                          *** 

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