Coping the Best You Can - Part 30

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You were now back home in London, while Harry was finishing out his tour. Even though you didn't want to leave the tour and Harry, you both knew it would be better for you to go back home and see your doctor figure out your next step. Plus, your body had been through a huge ordeal and needed rest.

Once you were able to travel again, you flew straight back to London and went to your flat. When you unlocked the door to your flat, you immediately felt the strange feeling of being alone. Sure, you've lived by yourself for the last few years and even though Harry stayed with you some nights after getting together or you stayed at his place, there were still nights you were alone.

But after being with Harry practically every night for the last few months, it was strange being by yourself again. You had gotten some food for dinner on the way home, so you put your bags down and brought the Chinese takeout over to the couch. You turned the TV on and searched through to find something to watch. You finally selected some random movie and started watching it.

Halfway through your dinner, there was a knock on the door. You were confused because you weren't sure who it would be. You put your food on the table and went to answer the door. As soon as you opened the door, you saw a very pregnant Jess standing there with a huge smile on her face.

"You're back!!!" She shouted before trying to awkwardly hug you with her stomach getting in the way.

You laughed hugging her back and letting her inside. "When I told you I was coming home, I thought you'd wait till the morning to stop by."

"Hell, no. I haven't seen my best mate in fucking ages, I couldn't wait that long," she laughed.

"Well, it's good to know that I've been missed," you giggled sitting back on the couch. "And I can see I've missed a lot..."

"Oh, yeah," she laughed rubbing her belly. "I swear it was flat one day and then I woke up the next day and here it is."

"How are you feeling?" You asked her.

"Miserable," she admitted. "I can't sleep and my feet are constantly swollen, but I still have about three months left. So, there's still plenty for you to see. Including the baby shower!"

"Oh, fun," you smiled. "When it is?"

"It's next month," she said.

"Great, I can't wait," you smiled.

"Okay, I can't wait anymore," she said. "I wanted to see you, but there's been something I've wanted to ask you for ages, but I wanted to do it in person."

You looked at her confused but motioned for her to go on.

"I want you to be the Godmother," she squealed.

You were a bit taken back by this. You weren't exactly surprised because you two were best friends, but what did surprise you was how it made you feel inside. But see, you hadn't told Jess why you came back home from the tour or what happened. Or that you more than likely couldn't have your own kids.

Everything just happened so fast and with the time zone difference and being stuck in the hospital, there wasn't really time to fill her in on everything and right now wasn't the time either.

"Really?" You forced a smile. "I-I'd love too."

"Yay!" She smiled hugging you again. "This is going to so fun! And then whenever you and Harry have kids of your own ours can grow up side by side and be as close as we are!"

"Yeah," you whispered forcing back tears from falling out of your eyes.

**

You had only been gone a day, but Harry was missing you like crazy. And on top of that, he was worried about you. You were going to be dealing with everything by yourself and he still had a few weeks left on tour and while he was going to talk to you every day, it still wasn't the same as being there for you.

If the situation with your parents was better, he would feel a little bit better because you would at least have them. But since you hadn't talked to them since everything came out. He still debated on calling them and telling them what was going on with you, but he was constantly torn with what decision to make.

On one hand, they were still your parents would want to know if something serious was going on with their daughter, especially something as serious as health-related. But then, on the other hand, they hurt you so much and he never wanted to see you that upset again. He was laying on the bed of his hotel room when he saw your face come up on his phone. He smiled as he clicked to accept the facetime.

"Hi, baby," he smiled, but it quickly vanished when he saw the tears streaming down your face. "Y/N, what's wrong? What's happened?"

"Jess was just over..." you sniffled. "She's huge... the baby is growing... and... she asked me to the Godmother, which I should be fucking ecstatic about right? but then she started talking about if you and I ever have kids then our kids and her kids will be super close and it took everything for me to not break down in front of her."

Harry sighed sadly. "You didn't tell her?"

"No," you shook your head. "It's not something that just pops up in conversation and she was just so happy, I didn't want to ruin the moment."

"That's understandable, but baby, you need to tell her. She's your best friend and she can help you through this," he said.

"But she's pregnant, Harry, she needs to worry about her and the baby, not me and the fact I may never have a baby," you sniffled.

"I knew I should have gone back with you," Harry sighed. "You shouldn't be alone with this."

"You can't just leave your tour, Harry," you said. "Your fans are counting on you and you love performing."

"And you're counting on me too," he said. "And I love you more than anything. I feel like a shit boyfriend because you're going through this alone."

"But I'm not alone... I have you," you said.

"But not there with you," he sighed.

"I'll be okay," you sighed. "Even if you were here, I'd still feel like shit over this, so you might as well finish your tour."

"Baby," he sighed.

You quickly wiped away your tears and tried to put on a brave face. "I'll be fine, I promise," you whispered. "It's getting late, I should probably get some sleep."

Harry sighed and nodded. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," you said before blowing him a kiss and ending the call.

Harry's worries only grew from that call, so he knew what he had to do and you weren't going to like it.

He was going to call your parents.

**

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