Oui ⭐ tracob au

cinquante - scared

Dedicated to -flowerbix because thanks for the generous amounts of "fuck you"s you have commented in the last few chapters :)

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"Here you go , come on," Adam said as he firmly held onto Jacob's hand while the vulnerable and sobbing boy crossed over, planting his feet safely on the balcony and taking a deep breath.

At first instance, Adam just let him in his arms, holding him together as Jacob's whole body trembled, cold and pale, sweat dripping down his forehead. He didn't know what it was but he felt something in his stomach - a mixed emotion of guilt and regret and how this was only going to complicate things for him and everyone else. Jumping down would've been a much easier solution.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry, I'm so so so sorry," Jacob mumbled while crying on Adam's shoulder. He didn't know whether this was wrong or right but somehow he just felt safe even though his body was trembling like a leaf in the wing and his voice was shaky as hell. Not to mention that his heart raced so fast, he could feel his blood vessels almost bursting out.

He didn't want to feel that. He wanted to feel calm.

"You're okay now, hey, you can stop crying. There is no need to apologise for this, please understand, stop crying, your throat is gonna hurt," Adam said.

"I don't care about that anymore," Jacob sighed.

"Shush, just listen to me, okay? I'm glad you didn't jump. I'm glad you're here right now," Adam whispered. Jacob felt his head move up and down to give a subtle nod as his breaths were heavy against Adam's shoulder.

"Let's get you something warm to wear. You are gonna catch the cold otherwise," Adam said as he broke out of the hug and gripped onto Jacob's arm, his eyes immediately spotting the cigarette burn on his wrist as he gasped immediately, turning his wrist face up even though Jacob hesitated  a bit.

"Jay! What did you do here?" Adam asked as he quickly let Jacob sit down on the bed, examining the deep seated burn.

"I'm sorry Adam," Jacob said again, his body still trembling vigorously as he couldn't even bring himself to look at Adam right in the eyes.

"Stop apologising! Tell me where you keep your first aid kit," Adam said.

"It's in the bedside drawer," Jacob said quietly, his voice barely audible as Adam quickly opened the bedside drawer and shuffled around the things in it to find the first aid kit. Jacob was a messy person and the drawer basically contained a shit ton of  unnecessary things.

On finally discovering the medical kit, he rushed, opening it and getting out some cotton and a red coloured medicine. He didn't know what it was but it was marked as "for first degree burns".

"That won't work, it's for first degree burns and this is probably a second degree one because it's deep seated and you could almost see the muscle and blood inside," Jacob spoke up.

"Then what do I do? Cool it down with some cool water?" Adam asked.

"No. Not that. That's for first degree burns too. Right now, just apply that ointment over there and it would be good," Jacob said quietly. He wasn't trembling as much as before and the sweat on his forehead was seemingly lowering down.

"Oh okay," Adam said as he picked up the ointment and then squeezed it into his hand, applying it slowly over Jacob's burn. Adam could feel himself flinching and looking up at Jacob from time to time - just to look at his facial expression  , to see whether he was having any pain or not. But Jacob just remained like a statue- not even blinking once.

"Doesn't this hurt you? I mean that's a  serious burn there and it's supposed to hurt like hell," Adam asked. His voice was quiet. He didn't even expect Jacob to answer as Jacob shook his head no.

"It doesn't hurt," he said after a few moments when Adam was just keeping the first aid kit back to the bedside drawer.

"How could it not?"

Jacob let out a chuckle. A sad chuckle again. Something which made Adam's heart ache. He had a weird feeling about all this. He just wondered if he had not come in the bedroom at that exact moment - maybe Jacob would've jumped.

All their friends were so busy with Troye that they wouldn't have even found out about it. The next morning , they would have to rush to the hospital with his corpse and empty voids in their chests.

Jacob was just the head of the house. Always has been. He had provided the  boys a home - build up a family with all his friends and just thinking about him as weak as he was then was difficult for Adam. His heart hurt to think like that.

"I'm used to it."

"What do you mean? Have you been self harming?"

"No. It's the first time that this is self inflicted." Jacob said.

"Then who was doing this to you before that?" Adam  asked. He wanted to know the answer but the way Jacob had his head hung was clearly the indication of some silent treatment so he just gave up and sighed.

"Here take this," Adam said as he passed on the same oversized red sweater to Jacob.

"I c-can't wear this. Troye always used to wear this," Jacob said as he eyed the sweater.

Adam quickly picked it up and threw it to the side, getting rid of it as he got out another white hoodie for Jacob.

"Here, wear this then and just go to sleep. I have poured some water in your jug and it's on the bedside table so if you need some water of feel thirsty, it's right there," Adam said. He was standing up in the middle of the room now. And even though he wouldn't like to leave, he knew that Jacob didn't like friends staying by his side at any moment of his life. It made him feel weak.

"So uhh goodnight."

"You're leaving?" His soft voice asked.

"Uh yeah." Please ask me to stay.

"Oh," It was all Jacob could say even though he really wanted to beg him to stay with him. He didn't trust himself for tonight. He was afraid of his own capabilities. He didn't want to test them.

"So i could just —"

"Can you please stay? Like I'm sorry if it's annoying. I'm just scared," Jacob said.

"Jay , it's not annoying at all. I just thought you didn't like your friends to stay with you and Uhhh I was just going to leave," Adam said awkwardly.

"Don't leave. Lie down with me."

Adam nodded, laying next to Jacob on the bed and just staring up at the ceiling.

"You scared me tonight." Adam confessed.

"Don't worry. I scared myself too."

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Did y'all actually think I would let my poor baby jump ,,, no kiddos y'all are 100% wrong.

Anyways I love y'all so much please take care bye xx