It's Only You And I {Yoonmin}

Chapter 4

I know this story has been moving slow so this is a long chapter for you all :)

Friday finally came, and I was surprised by the amount of excitement my heart could muster. We had settled on a time and for Jimin's sake a dress code which was casual. I had told him I knew just the place to eat and he told me he was excited. Since we had set a time, we had continued to hang out, and even though I hated to admit it, I had enjoyed myself. We ate together whenever it was possible, and he had been with me to play piano three times. Every time sitting on a chair, just looking at me and like promised was very quiet. The first time I had been nervous and played wrong a few times, but I had gathered myself and Jimin seemed very impressed, which despite what I tried to tell myself, made me very happy.
Now a half hour before I was supposed to pick him up, my palms were sweating, and my breathing was nowhere near normal. My body occasionally shaking and my sight blurry. Why was I even thinking that someone would ever like me? He would surely start to turn his back on me, just like everybody did. I wasn't anything but useless. A downer, someone who needed constant confirmation that people liked me, whenever I got close enough to someone. Why would Jimin ever be with me? My self-doubting thoughts were turned beyond 100 as my anxiety kicked in. I couldn't grasp what was happening as I sat on my bed, holding so tightly on the edge of my bed, my knuckles turned white. Everything had been fine before when I was with Jimin, for the first time I hadn't doubted everything I did. For the first time in, I don't know how long I was enjoying myself and it was all thanks to that blonde haired guy, I hadn't even known for a week. Now that we were going on a date it seemed to change everything.
I was having a fit of not breathing probably when Namjoon entered the room. He saw me on my bed fighting for my breath, and I guess he figured it went beyond our standard code of not talking, because he sat down in front of me, worry staining his face.

"Yoongi what's happening?" He asked, like I looked like I had time to answer. I guess looking back, it would probably have been better, if I told him about the fact, I sometimes get anxiety attacks. So, trying my very best I tried to explain to him, in-between breaths what was happening.

"I'm...having...an...anxiety...attack." My voice sounded small and it seemed like it brought Namjoon no consolation.

"Well what can I do?" He asked placing a hand on my arm, which was strangely calming.

"I...don't...know...I...will...be...fine." I said, not really sure that was the case.

"Yoongi, there has to be something I can do." Namjoon insisted and I felt weirdly happy to have him with me. "Do you need to breath into a bag or something?" He asked me, and I took a second before I nodded. He got up from the floor and found a plastic bag and handed it over to me. I took it and put it to my mouth, while repeating in my head the four things that me happy. Music, piano, basketball, taking pictures. Slowly I started to breath probably and I felt immediately better. When I had calmed enough down, I looked at Namjoon who had placed himself on his own bed, looking at me. I felt ashamed that he had see me like that, so I was having a hard time looking at him.

"Thank you for helping me." I said still looking at the floor.

"No worries." Namjoon said and seemed hesitant to say the next bit. "I didn't know you suffered from anxiety." I sighed and let a hand run through my hair.

"Well I do, I just never told you because well, we're not the closest, are we?" I said harsher than intended. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound mad." I cursed myself for being like this but Namjoon didn't seem to take it to heart.

"It's okay. You're right we're not the closest, I don't tell you all of my problems either." Namjoon said and I finally gathered enough courage to look at him. He was giving me a gentle smile and for the first time, I wanted to get to know him. I suspected it was all Jimin's doing, his warm personality was contagious.