Text you will never get

Letter One

2-18-18

Dear Hunter

I don't know when I will see you again. I don't know if I ever will see you again. I know, you are not dead but it kinds feels like it. You can never ever come back to our high school. You have been sent away. You are at juvie now. Our friendship was just get back on track too. We were texting back and forth and having real talks. We both told each other that we had feeling for each other. Why did you have go do that. Just. Why.Is this why you were pushing me away that week before you did it. You kept saying you didn't want to hurt me and that you didn't want my name bad mounth. Did you know you where going to do it. It wasn't supposed to be like this. We were supposed to have the next four year together. We were supposed to watch each other get matures and grow up. We were supposed have prom together. We were supposed watch each other walk arcoss the stage at graduation, but that won't happen now.  I miss seeing you at school. It has only been a week but it feel like it has been a year. When I get to school everyday, I look down the hall at your locker and I hope that I will see you there. I know that I will never see that again but I still hope. School will never be the same again. You always made my day better just by being at school, even when we weren't talking. You made me get out and into the world. You made me become a better me. I know I will never forget you I don't know if I should be mad at you or be happy for you. I'm happy that you are getting the help you need now. I'm sad that it took you to threatened someone life to get that help and for people to open there eyes to what has been going one. I'm mad at you for not talking to me about what was going on and for leaving me once again. Maybe you being gone is going to be a good thing for me. Maybe I can finally get over you for good. We can finally stop hurtting each other. I can learn how to live life without you pushing me to live. I can let another into my life and maybe into my heart too. That person can never replace you because we have been thought hell and back and because you have seen me at some of my darkness monments and because you know almost all my secrects even my dark ones and lastly because you were my first kiss and my first love. But we both know I need to let you go for once and for all. I need let myself grow and find a new first. I'll always love you but we both need let go and move one. Our time has come and gone. It was really fun and wild but I need to closted this chapter in my life. Now that you are gone maybe I can.

Love Augusta