Reaching for the Star ✔

Chapter 19 ★ Feelings

Happy reading...

- AJ -

(A/N: His POV nung gabi hinatid nya si jessie pauwi galing sa Date nila.)

I already made up my mind nung mga oras na niyaya ko sya makipag'date. Sinabi ko lang namang friendly date yun para hindi sya mailing sa akinat pumayag sya sa alok ko. I don't know how she feels towards me... yes! Hindi ko dapat pingangungunahan ang feelings nya, alam ko rin yun. Hindi ko rin naman kasi alam kung papaya sya o hindi... but I must admit I'm afraid... afraid na ma-reject nya ang offer ko kung sakaling sasabihin ko na gusto ko sya maka-date in a romantic way.

But I've learned somewhere that... It is impossible for others to know your real feelings if you won't tell them... simply because they are not fortune tellers. So in that case, you should just let it out and tell them how you feel.

That was my goal or should I say my purpose. Kung bakit ako nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob para ayain sya. To confess to her... yes I am planning on confessing how I felt towards her.

But my problem is... It's easier said than done. Marami na akong ni risk just to get our band in the spotlight... I've risk leaving home just to chase my dream. But I am debating with myself if I wanted to risk Angel's friendship over my feeling for her, na wala naming kasiguraduhang masusuklian nya. Pero sabi nga nila na 'ang totoong nagmamahal ay hindi humihingi ng kapalit.' I'm just hoping that we can still be friends after I confess to her later.

Isa pang pinoproblema ko ay ang mga napapadalas na pagbanggit ni Angel ng similarities namin ni AJ. I know I should just tell her the truth but I can't. I made a promise and I am not breaking it or should I say... I just can't break it. Not yet... I promise to tell her the truth when the right times come.

I still remember one time when I ask her... kung ano gagawin nya kung sakaling malaman nyang may sikretong tinatago sa kanya ang matalik nyang kaibigan. Sabi nya syempre daw magagalit sya kasi nag'sinungaling ito sa kanya pero siguro naman mapapatawad nya ito kung meron malalim na dahilan. Alam ko sa sarili ko na may maganda kong dahilan kaya itinatak ko sa isip ko ang sinabi nya. Yun nalang ang pananghahawakan ko na she might still forgive me if ever.

But she also said that I quote....

"I can forgive because that was easy... and who are we para hindi magpatawad diba? But I cannot promise to forget... because forgetting is one of the hardest things to do. Maliban na lang kung magka-Amnesia ang isang tao...Then forgetting would be easy."

That was her exact word. Which make me want to smack myself for agreeing to this kind of situation? But what else can I do? What's done is done right? Isa pa hindi ko pa sya nakikilala ganito na ko.

Umaasa nalang ako na hindi sobrang magalit sa akin si Angel pag nalaman nya na ang sikreto ko. I am willing to do everything, Yes EVERYTHING! Just for her to forgive and understand may reasons. Kaya nga uunti-untiin ko na kaysa sa iba nya pa malaman. Pero sisimulan ko sa pagsasabi ng tunay kong nararamdaman.

"Angel I have something to tell you..." nandito na kami sa harapan ng bahay nila. She didn't uttered a single word she just look at me... nod her head as if she saying -go on-. Kinakabahan ako sh*t!