Amnesia || Luke Hemmings

Chapter 32

Eli's POV

~2 Weeks Later~

"Alright, Eli. It looks like you're free to go, but you are going to have to go to rehabilitation for three months. That means, no dance, no anything until you get out. You're scheduled to be there in three weeks, so that gives you time to say goodbye and spend time with your friends. Starting today, no more dance. We've already contacted the X-Factor producer as well as your school so you wouldn't have to do it yourself," my doctor explained.

I nodded and asked if they had any clothes I could wear. She walked out of the room and came back five minutes later with some worn out skinny jeans and a beige tank top advertising a band I didn't even know existed. I also received a pair of hideous orange thongs (flip-flops). My doctor walked out of the room, and I quickly changed into the clothes and threw my hair up in a messy bun. 

What have I done with my life? I tried to commit suicide after a stupid little disagreement with one of my 'friends'. Now, I have to go to rehab where I'll be watched over 24/7. I wish I stil had my Gran.

"Eli?" a voice whispered while walking through the room doors. I turned around and saw Ashton with puffy eyes and a relieved smile.

"Hey," I mumbled. He ran over to me and gave me a hug, but he hugged me as if I would break at any second. I could feel his tears on my shoulder, and I wanted to just tell him that everything was okay now. 

Unfortunately, even I wasn't positive that I was okay.

"Don't you ever scare me l-like t-that aga-ain, o-o-okay? I-I tho-ought  y-you were g-g-gone," Ashton faintly sobbed.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"I'm such a bad person. I can't believe you almost died. You had me so worried!" he rambled.

I forced him to look at me, and his eyes were bloodshot.

"Ashton, I'm fine," I muttered.

"I almost lost you," he stated.

That one line gutted me.

Just the tone of his voice made me realize what I had actually done. Never have I ever wanted so badly to reverse time back to when Vivian and Ashton walked up to the counter at the Jukebox. If I had known what would've happened, I wouldn't have said a word, I wouldn't have listened to Vivian when she told me to meet her friends, and I deffinately wouldn't have gone in the car with Luke the night of their concert.

If I had just known what would've happened, I wouldn't have chosen to put them through this pain.

Because honestly, it sucks.

It sucks seeing the people I love cry because of me. 

It hurts watching the guy I love waltz away with the girl who was the closest thing I had to a best friend right before my eyes.

And it burns knowing that I am the reason they are all crying and worrying.

"Ashton-"

"No, you don't get it, do you? You are loved by so many people, but you fail to see the fact that more people actually love you than what you think," he stated.

"Ashton you don't get it!" I began.

"Let me explain it this way: No matter how ugly or beautiful you or anyone else may think I am, I will always be nothing more than a miserable depressed girl that doesn't know and will never know her life values. I am a failed attempt at something that could've been extraordinary. I am that person who can hurt someone just by being alive, and do you know what?