Survival

confused😕

I was terrified. When I was first captured by these three, I thought I was dealing with three idiots. I thought I could take them all put on my own, escape and survive.

But every single day, they seemed to tell me that in every stupidity they exhibited they were superior criminal masterminds.

I had no hope for survival when it came to them. If there was anything called fate,  I was fated to die in their arms.

I felt vulnerable and helpless with them. I hated feeling this vulnerable and helpless. It filled me with anger. I was angry at myself for being pathetic helpless and terrified.

When I closed my eyes, I couldn't stop the images and memories of my last encounter with them from flooding in.

I shut my eyes tightly as I tried to keep the screams away from my ears when they drilled holes into my body with needles.

I tried to ignore the screams when a hot scalding liquid was poured down my throat damaging my vocal cords.

I tried to ignore the screams from the pains I felt when salt was rubbed on my wounds.

I tried as much as possible to ignore my screams when I was violated and raped by a stranger while three people looked at me while I   was screaming for help as if it was the funniest movie ever.

I couldn't ignore the humiliation and dirtiness and that terrible hollow feeling I felt afterwards. How I felt broken and useless.

I couldn't ignore the pain and screams I felt while they tried to destroy my brain cells and destroyed my mind.

I couldn't ignore the pits of despair I sank into. I couldn't ignore those voices that made me feel crazy and made me re live my darkest moments in pain. 

I couldn't ignore how they starved me for days and destroyed the halo memory of my dead mother and threw it at my face while making jest of me.

I couldn't even bring myself to ignore the guilt I felt when they made me think I had killed a man. The countless times I couldn't sleep because of the terrifying nightmares I had and the guilt that coursed through me.

I felt anger, pure hatred burn through my bones like liquid fire. I hated them but I hated them more when I realized that there was nothing I could even do.

Angry fat drops of tears fell from my eyes and I got even angrier that the only thing I could do was cry.

I heard footsteps coming towards the direction I laid helpless tied up in. 'How is our little princess doing,' I looked up as Jax came into view.

'Why are you here?' I asked him angrily.

He laughed haughtily. 'Funny you should ask that,' he smiled.

'You see the one thing I never liked about you was that you never asked the right questions.' I narrowed my eyes at him as he spoke.

'Don't give me that look,' he pointed out, 'considering the fact that you were the one who supposedly killed me,  you didn't even ask how I managed,' he continued.

'Well for starters, I can see you are doing okay, so I don't think I need to hear that story,' I said cheekily.

'Oh well I think you need to hear it and you will hear it,' he said icily and I stuck out my tongue at him.

I felt a resounding echo in my ears as a stinging pain rushed up my cheeks. My tear ducts filled up my I refused to let them fall, biting my lips in an effort to stop them.

'As I was saying,' he continued as if nothing had happened.

'The story isn't really that spectacular though,' he shrugged. 'You shot me while I was wearing a bulletproof filled with blood that wasn't mine.'