Dangerously Irresistible

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

~     T  H  E     A  F  T  E  R  M  A  T  H     O  F     T  I  T  A  N  I  C     P  O  S  E  S     ~

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My body trembled as I sat on the shiny marble floor of Sean's spacious shower stall.

 Water droplets rained down upon me, washing away the soap suds and the shampoo. 

 If only they could also wipe away the sins.

 The sound of the shower drowned out my whimpers and sobs but I could hear them, clearly.

 The water was warm, steaming up the glass walls of the shower stall but underneath the downpour, curled up in a fetal position, I was shivering uncontrollably.

 It had probably been a while since I'd been in the shower but Sean had either not noticed or he was still peacefully asleep, oblivious to the sobbing, shaken girl in his shower.

 As I thought about how he'd been curled up next to me, looking so tranquil in his sleep, I wanted to vomit, cry and scream at the same time.

 I glanced down at the rivulets the water made as it traveled over my body.

 The body that had been so frantically, harshly washed with soap earlier, it was reddened.

 The body that I'd been horrified to discover had more lovebites and bruises than a prostitute after a gangbang.

 As if I'd needed them to feel dirty and unclean. 

 I remembered my harsh, quickened breathing as I'd frantically scrubbed my body as if doing so hard enough would erase all the love bites. All the reminders of what we'd done last night.

 God! I'd cheated last night. I'd cheated on Luke — perfect, sweet, loving Luke — with Sean! I'd sunk lower than I'd ever thought possible and I was utterly disgusted with myself.

 Even my heart, which seemed to find no fault in Sean or refuse to acknowledge any, was silent this morning. It had jumped a little as I'd woken up and seen him but there was no excessive fluttering.

 I was too overwhelmed with guilt and self-hate for that to happen.

 Guilt because despite what Sean had said last night about proving that I was attracted to him, I'd been the one who'd led to us having sex.

 And I'd gloried at the moment. I'd gloried last night, loving the way Sean and I had come together.

 That just made my guilt worse this morning. If Sean had been the one to tempt me, to seduce me, I wouldn't be feeling guilty to the point of devastation.

 I would blame it on him and my uncontrollable sexual attraction to him. I'd blame it on his beautifully sculptured angelic face, Greek god body and silver tongue.

 But, although Sean had been the one to set the chess board and make the first move, I'd been the one to say 'checkmate'.

 I'd seen how hard he had resisted, how much he hadn't wanted to give into his desire for me. His actions last night in that studio while I'd been seducing and teasing him sparked a devastating suspicion that while Sean had most definitely planned to give me a little pleasure, probably with his hands, he hadn't been planning to take me.

 No, last night had been all my fault, not his. Sean hadn't sauntered naked, I had.

 Sean didn't take his teasing over the line, I did.