Dangerously Irresistible

CHAPTER NINETEEN

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He came to the apartment five days later.

 Sean, I mean.

 After his email that night;

From; Rocky Dwayne

Subject; Guess you were right.

She is better off without me.

I thought he'd left New York, finding it unbearable to be in the same town as Rose.

 He had been rather silent than usual and I'd just thought that he'd left. That our contacting was no longer required.

 I was surprised and shocked as fuck to realize that I actually felt a little dismayed at that thought.

 I wasn't shocked by why I would miss him, though. Sean could be an arrogant ass sometimes, but he had also been funny, amusingly sarcastic and even wise and concerned sometimes.

 I felt horrible.

 The joy I'd felt that night because my plan had commenced flawlessly... It had vanished as soon as I'd seen Sean's retreating back.

 The kiss between Rose and José hadn't meant anything. I'd hoped it had because then it would've made me feel a little better.

 But, like I already knew she would, Rose had rejected Jose. He didn't ask her out that night, he was too drunk too. But he did ask her out the next morning, arriving at our door sober and impeccably dressed with a bouquet of roses.

 I already knew the answer he would get, though. Rose had told me the night before after we'd come home.

 "I can't believe I kissed José," she'd murmured, drunkenly. "God!" she groaned, covering her face with a pillow. "I make the worst choices when I'm drunk!"

 I felt guilty because I'd been the one who'd gotten her drunk. Actually, I was surprised I even felt that bit of guilt, I was already brimming with it.

 "You looked like you enjoyed it... I mean, you kissed him back.." I said, desperately.

 "He's not a bad kisser. It wasn't a bad kiss but...." Rose trailed off and I knew what she was going to say even before she said it. "He's just not Sean."

 I felt a pang of sorrow. "You're not over him, are you?"

 Rose nodded in reply even though I knew the reply. "I don't think I ever will get over him, Jenna," she whispered sadly.

 The guilt inside me increased. Soon, it would be all I felt.

 "So.... you're not gonna go out with Jose?" I could actually hear the desperateness in my voice.

 Rose, meanwhile, seemed oblivious. "'Go out with him'?" she repeated, incredulously. "He didn't ask me out."

 "He probably will tomorrow. He likes you a lot, you know."

 Rose sighed. "I know but, I can't go out with him, Jenna. I mean, yeah, I kissed him back tonight and everything but... I only did it 'cause I was drunk and 'cause I didn't want to humiliate him."

 There was silence for a few seconds, during which I let myself feel awful for not only having put Rose in a situation that would cause her to hurt one of our best friends but also for putting José in a situation that would end up getting him hurt.