The Challenging Path to Self Acceptance

12

Ny the time I was ungrounded, the entire school knew that I was gay, and that I was dating Michael. After I came out to the school, Michael and I became more of an actual couple, and he became my first boyfriend. But Mom and Dad still didn't know, and I wanted to keep it that way. So, because my parents had no clue about Michael and I, he was aloud to stay the night over the weekend, after I was ungrounded. 

When Michael came over, we wasted no time at all. I quickly took him up to my room, and shut and locked my bedroom door, and then things escalated quickly. We very quickly began making out, and I soon felt Michael slide his tongue into my mouth. Michael slid his hands up my shirt, and rested them on my waist. When we pulled apart, needing to breathe, Michael pushed me back gently until my legs hit the edge of my bed and I fell onto it. He then carefully pushed me back until I was laying down, and he climbed on top of me. Michael continued kissing me passionately as he continued to work my shirt further up until he finally just pulled it off entirely. 

Michael slid his tongue into my mouth once again for a little bit before pulling away. He then decided to softly lay a trail of kisses down my neck, over my collar bones, and then down to my heart. At this point, I pulled Michael's shirt off over his head and dropped it onto the floor, not caring where it landed. After I did this, Michael began working off my pants. This time, I didn't have anything to worry about, and when Michael got my pants off, my only concern was removing his too. When I did, Michael and I both moved up a little bit so that we were on my bed more, and proceeded to make out. That's as far as we went though, because neither one of us wanted to go any farther. Once we were done making out, Michael and I decided to cuddle under the covers of my blanket. Michael had his arms wrapped around my waist, with his head resting partly on my stomach and partly in my lap. I was leaning against one of the walls that my bead was against, reading the bible out loud to Michael.

"How many times have you read this?" Michael asked softly.

"Quite a few. Why do you ask?" I responded.

"Because you read it very fluently with no slip ups at all."

"How do you know that I'm not just good at reading out loud?"

"Because I have english with you. Whenever it's your turn to read from the textbook, you always stutter, and mess up. But you don't do that with this book." I chuckled softly.

"Yeah, I've read this book a lot. It is the bible after all."

"Why do you keep reading it? The things it teaches hurt you." Michael asked as he moved one of his arms until he was holding onto my thigh. I felt him run his thumb gently over the words on my thigh, proving his point.

"It's just that one commandment." I said quietly, biting my lip.

"It still upset you. You should read a different book." 

"Alright." I said as I put the bible down, and book up a copy of Les Miserables. I opened it, and began reading it out loud.

< * >

I got through a good junk of the book before there was a knock on my door. I began to panic, as did Michael, considering the fact that we were both in nothing but our boxers, cuddling in my bed. I quickly put the book down, and Michael and I both jumped out of the bed. I scrambled to get clothes on, and just put on whatever I could find, while Michael did the same. In seemingly no time at all, I was fully dressed and smoothing out my hair. 

"Max?" I heard mom call through the door as she tried to open it. The handle jiggled, but didn't budge of course. I turned to Michael who only had pants on and gestured for him to get into the bathroom. He quickly did as I said, and I just kicked the shirt that was still on the floor under the bed. I then opened the door and smiled at my mom.

"Sorry, I guess I just locked it instinctively." I said, pretending that nothing was wrong.

"You look a little flushed, are you feeling ok?" Mom asked, making a face of concern.

"Yeah of course." I responded, providing no further explanation.

"Well, alright, I just came to tell you that you two should wash up for dinner." Mom smiled. I smiled back, and closed the door again when she left. I slumped against the door and let out a long exhale. That was far too close for comfort. I then chuckled lightly, not knowing what else to do, before I went and knocked on the bathroom door. Michael opened it slowly, seeing if Mom was still there. When he saw that she wasn't, Michael walked all the way out of the bathroom, a bright smile on his face.   

"That was close." He said with a small chuckle.

"Yeah." I chuckled back.

"Nice pants." Michael smirked as he grabbed the shirt from under the bed. I looked down and found that I as wearing a pair of skinny jeans, which were definately Michael's. Upon looking at Michael, I found that he was wearing my khakis. I laughed a little, finding the situation amusing. Michael laughed too as he pulled the shirt, which was indeed his, over his body. 

< * >  

At dinner, no one really seemed to notice that Michael and I were wearing each other's pants, or so I thought. We made it through dinner without anyone saying anything at all about Michael and I, and I thought that I had successfully managed to keep our relationship a secret. Little did I know that someone did notice that our pants were switched, and someone did notice something strange between Michael and I. However, they decided against saying anything. Until later at least.

"Max." My brother said quietly as he grabbed my arm, preventing me from going back into my room. Mom and Dad were busy doing dishes, and wouldn't be paying attention to us, but my brother talked softly as he pulled me into his room nonetheless. Michael followed us into the room, although a little hesitant at first.

"Yes?" I asked in response, curious as to what my brother wanted.

"I need to ask you something." He said.

"What?" I asked.

"Is there something going on between you and Michael?"