The Challenging Path to Self Acceptance

Epilogue

I stood backstage, nervously twiddling my thumbs as I waited anxiously for my cue to onto the stage and start talking. I had been invited to speak on a talk show after my book hit a million copies sold, and I was both excited, and nervous. 

"Now I would like us all to give a warm welcome to Maxwell Jacobs." I hear the voice of the talk show host call. This was my cue. I took a deep breath and walked onto the stage as the audience clapped and cheered for me. I smiled and waved at them as my eyes scanned the crowds for signs of the people who I loved the most. I didn't have to look very long though, because Michael, Mom, Dad, Fin, and my brother were all sitting in the front row, cheering aggressively for me as I sat down on the couch across from the talk show host's chair. 

"Now, Maxwell, you're 22 now, correct?" She asked clearly and happily.

"Just Max is fine, and that's right." I responded clearly with a smile, trying to hide my nerves. 

"And you wrote this book when you were a freshman?" She asked, waving the copy of my book that was in her hand. 

"Yes."

"Wow, that's amazing. What made you decide to do that?"

"Well, what you're actually holding in your hand right now is an essay for an assignment." I chuckled, and paused as the audience laughed a little too. "The assignment was given shortly after school had began, and although a had made lots of improvement by then, things were still pretty fresh in my mind. So when I was given the assignment to write an essay about a time that I had struggled, I just began writing, and I didn't stop until the story was finished."

"Now, what did your teacher think of this?"

"He said that it was one of the best essays that he had ever read, and had to ask me if it was all real. Then he was asking me if I needed to talk to someone, or if I was still having troubles or anything like that. When I was leaving his classroom, he asked me if I had ever considered writing a book."

"And that's when you decided to make it into a book?"

"Not exactly. It actually took a lot of convincing from my dear friends Michael and Fin," I said, gesturing to the two, and then pausing while the audience clapped for them. "But eventually I did decide to turn the essay into a book."

"I bet that was exciting."

"Actually, the whole thing didn't really sink in until this one person came up to me in school with tears in their eyes, and told me that my book inspired them to tell people that they were non-binary. Then it was because of that person that we created the profiles to promote the book. Next thing I knew, tons of people started telling their stories about coming out and all that stuff on the profiles. Then people started posting fanart that they made, and now all of those profiles are just overflowing with stories and pictures. To this day I still go through to read and comment on every post that's made on there."

"Wow, that is amazing. It really is an inspiration to people everywhere that you were able to come out on top the way you did. Now for those of you out there who haven't read his book, or don't know his story, I will give you a brief summary. 

"So Max first realised that he was gay in 8th grade when he got a crush on his best friend. He tried to suppress these feelings, because he was taught his whole life that he was going to marry a good christian girl and have kids then live happy ever after, and he was taught that being gay is bad. When he realised that he couldn't force these feeling out easily, he thought that getting a girlfriend would help, but when this girl kissed him, he broke up with her. 

"Now, another boy, Michael, overheard him talking about breaking up with the girl, and took it upon himself to become Max's new partner. So them Max and Michael were dating, but keeping their relationship secret from everyone. When things were getting a little more intense between those two, Michael discovered the self harm scars on Max's thighs, from where he carved statements into his legs to try to stop himself from being gay.

"Max went through a lot of depression, and self harm, on top of keeping up with school work, getting told that being gay is evil, and trying to come to terms with who he was. Eventually, people at school found out, and then his brother, but his parents didn't know. Until one day, they were getting lectured about how homosexuality is a plague in church, and he, his brother, and Fin all left. Later that day, he came out to his parents, and was thrown out of the house. He stayed with Fin for a little bit, then moved in with Michael, and those two now live in an apartment together." 

The audience began clapping, causing the host and I to sit and wait for them to finish clapping and cheering. 

"Now, if you're ok with sharing this information with us, how many scars do you have on your thighs now, and what do they all say?" The host asked.

"Just the ones listed in the book," I said, and skipped a beat in my sentence as I saw some pictures that I had taken of the insides of my thighs appear on a big screen for everyone to see. I knew that was going to happen, but it still caught me off guard. " and they just say good boys stick to the plan, going to hell, fucking faggot, man shall not lay with man, and the last one is the seven deadly sins with some of them crossed out. Please forgive my cursing."

"So you stopped at five?"

"Yeah, and I don't intend to make anymore. I even had tattoos covering a good chunk of both of my legs to cover the scars up." I said, and pictures of my legs with that tattoos were displayed on the screens. 

"What you have been through and done is remarkable." 

"Thanks, but, I never would have done it without the people in my life who supported me."

"Yes, I bet you are very grateful to have them in your life." 

"Of course I am. I love them all very much, and I can't imagine my life without them. Which is why I have a very important question to ask." I said, causing me to get a few looks of confusion from people in the audience. People seemed to get even more confused as I stood up, and walked off the stage and up to the audience, where I held my hand out to Michael.

Michael was confused as he took my hand and aloud me to walk him back onto the stage with me. Everyone watched me as I stood in front of Michael, with both of his hands in mine, just smiling at him for a little bit. Then I reached one of my hands into the pocket of my blazer, and pulled out a small, black velvet box. Michael seemed to know exactly what I was planning, and he watched me in disbelief as I sank down until I was kneeling in front of him on one knee. The audience gasped, and started clapping and cheering, so I turned to them and motioned for them to quiet down, before looking back up at Michael.

"Michael, you have helped me so much over the years, and the past few years that I have spent with you have been some of the best years of my life, even if things didn't go so well for me during them. I never, ever, would have made it to where I am today if I didn't have you. I could never see myself spending the rest of my life with anyone but you, and quite frankly, I don't want to. So would please promise me a lifetime of happiness, and be mine forever?" I asked, opening the box to show Michael the silver band inside. The audience cheered, but I ignored them as I waited for Michael's response. He was crying as he crouched down in front of me, and pulled the ring out of the box to put it on his own finger. Then he nodded at me, seemingly unable to speak.

Byt that point, I was crying too as I pulled Michael into a kiss, then pulled him into a very tight hug.