The adventures of Jodeci

Be Happy

How can I love somebody else
If I can't love myself enough to know
When it's time,
Time to let go-Mary J Blige

Y/n~
It's a constant struggle trying to please a guy that you love so much. But no matter what he just doesn't get it. I think In actuality I love him more than he claims to love me.

The world knows him as K-Ci bad boy of Jodeci. I know him as regular Cedric. Me and him started dating a little before him and the guys moved to New York for their record deal.
He was loving and kind like any other regular boyfriend should be like.

I know it's cliche but the fame really did swell up his head like a cabbage.  He's not the same and his ego dictates  every little thing he does.
I made frequent trips to New York to see him. I put everything on hold in my life for him.
Guess that was dumb.

Cedric Hailey~
"You better start acting right for y/n gets you."
Dalvin joked while the guys sat back in the dressing room drinking.
"Man she ain't gonna do nothing, I got her behind wrapped around my finger."  I kissed my teeth and then smirked.
"You at least owe it to her to tell her what's really going on." My brother adviced me as he took another sip from his beer. He was so wise yet nobody heard about him and his girl or what he got going on.

"I ain't trying to hear allat."  "Well don't say we didn't warn you, JoJo let's go shoot some pool."  Dalvin got up to exit the room and went to the other dressing room with father mc. JoJo got up and followed behind him but not before stopping and getting my attention.

" remember what I said you hardheaded nigga." He laughed walking out as I shook my head.
I watched DeVante leaning on the chair snoring with his sunglasses on. But he became alert catching himself. "Where they go?" He asked me referring to Dalvin and Joel.
"They went to shoot pool with Father."
"They always treating me like Derek when I'm clearly DeVante."He sighed walking out the room while I wondered what he meant.

"Yea meet me in the room at 4:00."
"But K that's too early in the morning." She complained.
"Well that's the only way you gonna get some Mary."  
"Why do you always have to be so secretive about us?" I rolled my eyes because she already knew the whole situation. She knew I had a girl when we first started dating I told her what was up and now she wanna get all clingy.

"Cause we not together." I kissed my teeth about to hang up the phone.
"Wait K don't hang up, I guess it's silly for me to have these feelings but we been going at it for 5 months now." She said through the phone.

"You actually kept up with the time?" I asked her amazed.  "Yeah I did." She bashfully answered.
"It's not silly it's jus- meet me at 4:00 like I said." I hung up the phone and went to sleep it was the middle of the day but this was Jodeci hours.
No one had better wake me up. Except for y/n of course.
****
Y/n~
"Hey you better let go of that boy." My dad warned me. Everyone from high school moved and followed their dreams. But I stayed home I guess I was just a late bloomer as my mom would say.
"Daddy I know how you feel about him, but I love him and if I truly care this much about him it's worth finding out if we're worth awhile right?" I gazed longingly at my dad as he sat in the chair folding his arms. He didn't utter a word just sighed. Then he stood up coming closer to me.
"I just know you can do better than that. But for what it's worth I just want you to be happy." He explained holding my chin and then bringing me into a hug.

After the hug I grabbed my bags getting ready for my departure.
"Be safe." Both  of my parents whispered.

I wondered so much about Cedric. If he was sleeping, singing, eating. The latter part I was thinking about he better have not been doing. So I just stopped at the nearest pay phone and called him. I put in a quarter and saved the other for more time.

"Hey I'm K-Ci and this is Jodeci. If you are hearing this I'm probably getting my freak on with your girl and can't get to the phone right now but leave a message... ooh yeahhh."

I was surprised at his voicemail but nonetheless I did leave a message. I was gonna tell him I was visiting this weekend but maybe it's better left as a surprise.

****

As time progressed the flight finished and I went to The boys apartment. I had a key made for me because I was here a lot but now not so much.

As I turned the key in to the lock I heard lots moaning and panting. I don't understand why cause it's like 4:30 in the morning but it's whatever the boys like I guess. After finally turning the lock I walked in the room placing my traveling suitcase and anything else I had on the ground. I laid on the couch exhausted from this jet lag.

I tried to shut my eyes and get a little nap but the people in that room wouldn't shut up.

"'Mmm K." The woman expressed.
"Shh we almost there just uhh put this pillow in your mouth. I don't want the boys clowning me and getting in my business once again."

I knew who that voice belonged to. And as much as I wished it wasn't him it wouldn't do me any good.

I walked slowly to his bedroom treading softly. It was what I confirmed.

I turned the light on and they both jumped. I know you're expecting me to go on a rampage and cut him and the hoe but I'm not. I received the answer I was longing for.

"I see you made a new friend." I said coldly as tears fell down my cheeks.

" baby it's not what it looks like I was just trying to help Mary her find her wig."  The girl had on a wig cap so it was hard to identify her.

"Mary? Oh you I love you on that song the things you do for me homegirl. I hope stealing a woman's man helped you feel better." My sarcastic nature took over once again. I was still calm though. "Uhh thanks." She looked at me confused and then released a stank face."
She is lucky that it's early in the morning. Because if it was later in the day I would conjure up all my energy and swing on her.

" get out Mary!" Cedric yelled frustrated as she ran out the room carrying a white bedroom sheet. I imagined she was slightly embarrassed.
"Listen Y/n I'm sorry that you had to see this and it's not like-"

"Your sorry that you got caught? Is that it?"  I scoffed.
"Your not the Cedric I know or fell in love with, I keep trusting you and falling for you more and more but you keep disappointing me." I continued to Cry. His doe brown eyes softened and he tried to walk closer to me.

"No stand back. My family don't even really like you. I turned my back on family for you and put my life on pause for you."

"But Y/n I love you." He echoed.
"And I love you so much." I stressed.
"Please forgive me I won't do it again."
"That's my problem Cedric, I love you too much but how can I love somebody else if I can't love myself." I trailed on as he paced around the room holding his head down.

"You used to bring me happiness but now I'm not happy anymore and I held on for long as I could but I can't. Cedric I just wanna be happy." I lastly said walking out the bedroom.

He fell on his knees putting his head into his palms.
I was finally taking a stand for what I wanted and needed in life and I wasn't letting go of my new found happiness no matter how much I loved him. I would just have to love him from a distance.

Authors note: this is you lol not Mary J blige as you can see she is already in this short story. Excuse any mistakes I wrote this on a whim.