"You trap me in, and I can't escape. It's like this quicksand you created to drive me insane, but the worst is, you don't even know it."
In which a quiet illustrator falls in love with a sarcastic author.
Riverdale - Season 1
[Completed]
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CHAPTER NINETEEN, CRUEL WORLD
Lauren Davis always knew the world was a cruel place, but nonetheless she continued to have hope. Hope that maybe, one day, she wouldn't have to live a miserable life, one where she didn't dread waking up in the morning only to be lonely and she didn't want that.
Not one bit.
Unfortunately it seemed that the brunette who never gave up was starting to lose all hope she had stored in years. She had become so accustomed to living a life she didn't want, she started losing her sanity. Though she believed, she had already lost every ounce of sanity.
Lauren Davis had given up.
To her, there was no point in life or living the right way because at this point, she had nothing worth living for.
Lauren stopped taking her medicines the day her father had expired, she had chucked them out the small bay window in her room, out of anger, of course. However she didn't realize that she needed then desperately to survive.
And to say that Jughead Jones was worried was an understatement.
He reached out the most he could, tried to be there for her the way he knew she would be as well but it seemed like the girl no longer wanted help is any sort of assistance. Jughead was the first to notice, her strange silence and her dull eyes. He could tell that she was far from gone but he couldn't figure out what to do.
"I'm worried about Lauren."
It was Betty who had spoken, her tone and voice dripping with concern and agitation. Betty rubbed her sweaty palms against her light blue jeans. Jughead pursed his lips as Veronica shook her head sadly, nodding in agreement later.
Archie had been silent on the situation, he had not spoken about the girl in a while, and he was ashamed of how he had previously acted towards the girl, but no words could express how he felt about one of his best friends. She was a sister he had always cared about, but she had changed and so had he, how and why, he was unsure of.
"What can we do, though?" Veronica asked with a murmur her voice soft. "We can't help her grieve, can we?"
"Yes we can." Archie piped up finally. "We just don't know how."
Jughead nodded. "We just help her the way she wants us to."
Betty smiled sadly. "How do we do that when she doesn't want help?"
"We can't force her." Veronica added.
"You're right." Jughead responded. "Don't push her but help her if you can. I don't think we can leave her alone though."
"Are we bad friends?" Archie asked suddenly, knowing the answer himself.
"Some of us are." Jughead snapped angrily.
With that said, the beanie boy grabbed his bag and walked away from the group who continued to gape at his reply. Shocked at the blunt way he had spoken.
Not knowing what to say, every one continued to sit in a deafening silence that had been left hovering over them like a dark shadow.
****
Lauren stared out the window, her back had started aching hours ago as she sat on the small stool-like seat, perched in an awkward position. Her head rested on her hand, soft breathes coming out of her raggedly.
Lauren hadn't slept in days. Her eyes were red with tire and her hair was in a braid, messy but away from her face as she absentmindedly watched the world move by, without a care in the world.
People had assumed she had been crying non-stop, sobbing on the floor but the girl felt absolutely nothing, her head was filled with dread and her heart was numb from pain. Lauren didn't like feeling nothing but it might just be better than feeling what she was sure she would feel.
Lauren had tried so hard to get over her thoughts, push herself to her limits and know that she would get better and she was. She had a good amount of progress recorded but it seemed that none of it had affected her.
Flashes of red and bodies ran through her mind sometimes, what she had found now scarring her for life, the girl was unable to imagine a life without seeing red wherever she went. Sometimes she hallucinated, as if she was living the whole experience once more. Other times she would rock herself to calm any nerves that were playing with her mind.
The brunette was somewhat aware of her surroundings as she managed to change her clothes every now and then. Polly Cooper had visited along with her sister, claiming to invite Lauren to the baby shower, one the said girl refused to go to.
She couldn't celebrate. How could she celebrate? The one person, who promised would always protect her from pain was the one causing it, despite his passing, he had promised her and that's probably why she was so heartbroken, just like the promsies she held so dearly to herself. It was like her dreams for a bright future was being crushed with boots, dirty and old.
It made her feel so worthless.
Like she didn't mean a thing. Like she didn't deserve to have a shred of happiness. Lauren Davis was used to pain. It seemed that she was someone who would always have it within her, like a curse that could never be lifted.
What Lauren felt was indescribable, it was something that could only be felt, not told in words, it was something that drenched your heart in pain, like someone was using their very own hands to dry out your heart of blood, the one thing you need to survive in the world.
Lauren screamed when she needed to get rid of pain. She screamed until her voice was raw and it hurt so much you could barely breathe. It was relieving in a way that didn't make sense but nonetheless it was something that tormented her, days later.
So Lauren often found herself wondering, when would it ever end? Would it ever fade away?
****
Even though this was a very tiny as shit filler chapter, it was really sad. Let's be honest, Lauren is not getting over it in a little while.
So despite this being a sad chapter, I updated because this was a thank you gift.
An early gift for getting this book to 1K and I honestly am so happy. This book has been something I've started to really see potential in. I'm proud of where it has come and it's all thanks to you.
So thank you all, I really do hope you enjoy reading this as much as I love writing it.
