Kissed By An Angel (Boyxboy)

Saturday

I wasn't able to sleep at all last night I kept replaying my conversation with Chris over and over again in my head. Maybe I should give him a chance he seems like he means it when he says he'll always be there for me, but I can't help but think always is a long time what happens if he gets sick of me and leaves. That's what I'm afraid of, I'm not afraid of him liking me or becoming my boyfriend, I'm afraid that once a commitment is made that Chris will leave me and then I'll have no one to confide in. I place a hand on my cheek where Chris kissed me, how can one person come into my life and turn it upside down in a day? I hear the door downstairs close and I know that my dad has left for work.

I pull myself out of bed and let out a hiss of pain, my side hurts more today than yesterday, it always hurts more the next day. I walk downstairs slowly once I take my last step there is a knock at the door and I go to answer it, already guessing who it is. I open the door and my guess was right the person at the door is Chris, I invite him inside then I look down at myself holy shit I only have a pair of boxers on and Chris can see all my bruises and scars on my chest and back now. What was I thinking answering the door like this? What would have happened if it hadn't been Chris at the door?

Chris stares at my chest and when I tell him I'm going upstairs to put a shirt on Chris says "Why Jesse? Why don't you want me to see you like this? I only want to help you Jesse, I needed to see this, I only caught a glimpse yesterday but I saw enough to know that it wasn't the worst beating he ever gave you. Jesse if you won't get help I'll have to take matters into my own hands even if that means that you'll hate me for making that decision for you." Why is he so good to me I've only known him for two days now and he treats me as if he's known me forever, how could he think I would hate him if he tried to save me I don't think I could hate him because he's the first person that has seen into my soul after all this time. I don't realize that I'm crying until Chris slowly pulls me into a hug and whispers "Don't cry Jesse, I didn't mean to upset you" I let out a laugh hearing Chris say this because I'm crying happy tears.

Chris pulls away slightly to look into my eyes and I gaze back at him and say "I'm not crying because you said something to upset me, I'm crying because you said something to make me happy to the point of tears. I've been alone with my feelings for 1 1/2 years now and you are the first person to see into my soul after all this time and still look at me like a normal person and not as if I'm broken." Caught up in the moment I grab Chris's face and pull him into a heart stopping kiss, I'm a little bit out of practice with kissing but Chris doesn't seem to mind. I pull away from the kiss and look into Chris's eyes to see that he's looking back at me with longing. I can't let things go further between Chris and me until I say to him what's really in my heart, how I really feel about him.

I take Chris's face between my hands and say "I want to be with you, I want you to be mine, but I'm scared that once a commitment between us is made that you'll leave me and then I'll have no one." I feel a tear fall from my eye but I don't bother trying to wipe it away I just let it fall down my face. I remove my hands from Chris's face and put them back down to my sides, I don't know what I'll do if he leaves but maybe I should just let it go for now. Chris pulls me into a hug and says "I'll never leave you Jesse I'll stand by you as long as you need me, I'll protect you, and I'll never let your horrible father lay another finger on you." Even though I know he can't do the last thing he said it still made me feel happy and safe to hear him say that. Chris pulls away from the hug and grabs my hand he then gets on the ground bending on one knee and says "Jesse Berman, would you do me the great pleasure of agreeing to be my boyfriend?" I love the way he asked me he sounded like a gentlemen and I couldn't help but say yes to him.

I pull Chris off the floor and say "How about I go get dressed and then we can go out for breakfast or something." he just nods his head saying ok and I run upstairs trying to get dressed as quickly as I can, once I'm dressed I brush my teeth and run a comb through my hair deciding I don't want to go out with Chris in pubic with my just got laid hair I usually have for school of course the comb isn't much help because my hair is always difficult. I walk back downstairs when I'm done and I don't see Chris where I left him so I walk into the kitchen and don't find him then I take a deep breathe and walk into the living room to find Chris looking at some of the old photos of me and my parents that are there, I haven't went into the living room since mom died.

I clear my throat getting Chris's attention and he apologizes for just making himself at home I wave off his apology and say "It's fine I just haven't been in this room since my mom died." Chris gives me a sad look and I say "I would've had to come into this room again sooner or later so thank you for giving me that extra push I needed." Thankfully Chris changes the subject and asks "Are you ready to leave for breakfast?" I nod my head in relief that Chris didn't push the subject of the living room. We walk outside and I lock the door to my house and look at Chris and say "I don't have a car so I guess we're gonna have to walk." Chris shakes his head no then motions to the car in my driveway and says "That's my car so we don't have to walk."

After Chris unlocks the door he opens the door for me, is he trying to make me feel like a chick? I get in the car without commenting on him treating me like a chick I mean just because I prefer poles to holes doesn't mean I'm not still a guy. While we're in the car Chris reaches over to grab my hand and starts to stroke my knuckles with his thumb, even though it feels nice I still feel as if he's treating me like a chick. I pull my hand away from Chris's and say "Stop treating me like I'm a girl because I'm pretty sure last time I checked I had a penis." Chris let's out a laugh and says "Jesse I know you're not a girl I just like treating you with respect like a gentlemen should treat someone they love." Chris grabs my hand again as we're pulling up into the dinner that's two blocks away from my house.

Once me and Chris eat we talk for awhile and then he drives me home, I see my fathers car in the driveway, I know that Chris notices it too because he grips the hand he's holding tighter. He then says "I'm walking you inside Jesse I don't care if your father has a problem with it. Once I get you into your room lock the door and don't come out no matter what you hear until I tell you to come out." I just nod my head and let him open my door for me as I get out of the car. I unlock the door and open it and come face to face with my father, my father lifts his arm like he's going to hit me and I shut my eyes tightly expecting the blow but it never comes.

I open my eyes to see that Chris has my father arm grasped in his hand stopping the blow. Chris tells me to run to my room and lock the door so I do, I hear grunts and thumps coming from downstairs I hear a crash and I finally decide just to cover my ears with my hands and sit on the floor with my back against the door. I feel tears start to stream down my face but I just keep my hands over my ears and try not to think about what's going on down stairs. After awhile I lift my hands from my ears and I hear silence I hear footsteps in the hallway and I wait if it's Chris at my door he'll knock and if it's my dad he'll scream, I hear a knock and I let out a sigh of relief I unlock the door and open it, Chris pulls me into a hug and I ask him what happened to my dad and he just says "I took care of it, that's all you need to know" I want to ask more but I just let it go for now and let Chris hold me, is this what it feels like to be loved, is this what it feels like to be safe?