Twenty-eight

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Thomas sat with shaking fingers, staring at the letter. It has been three days since Newt had been brought into hospital, and he hadn't left his seat in the waiting room. Everyone had told him to go home and get rest. Harriet had. Brenda had. His mother had. Even Chuck had. But not Minho. Minho has stayed with him as soon as he got to the hospital, silently reassuring but also being reassured.

Thomas hadn't opened the letter. They'd all debated wether or not too, but Thomas felt like as soon as he opened the seal, it would pronounce the blonds death. But now here they were, watching as Thomas's fingers slowly opened the letter, eyes wide and heart pounding.

"Who wants to read it?" Harriet broke the silence like a slice of a knife.

"Thomas? You can if you want, or..or we could pass it around or something.." Brenda suggested quietly. Minho shared a glance with Thomas.

"You read it Thomas. He probably wants you to" he said. Thomas nodded softly, taking a deep breath. 'Newt wants me to read it. I'll read it for him.'He cleared his throat and with pale hands, smoothed our the letter.

"Hi everyone. I'm assuming if you're reading this, I'm either dead or dying. I always knew the detective business was dangerous, and after we were shot at in the town hall, I decided it was better to be on the safe side. Just to remind you and let you all know how much you mean to me." Thomas glanced around, only to be met with three pairs of glassy eyes, ready to spill. The brunette could only guess he looked like that too.

"Harriet" Thomas glanced up at the woman, who was already crying into her hands. "I meant every word I said in the disabled toilet. Sonya loves you more than anything, and, spoiler alert, she wants to marry you. And, spoiler alert, she wants a vanilla cake" the four laughed softly and sadly, Harriet wiping her tears away unsuccessfully. "You deserve someone like her, and she deserves someone like you. If I had one regret, it would be that I'm not as close to you as I would love. I often wished for the day I could consider you a sister, the day you married Son'. I hope it's the happiest day of your life, because I know it will be hers. So, if I had to ask you to do anything, it would be, take care of Sonya for me. Bring her sushi when she's hungover, let her doodle on your arm. Oh, and dance with her. She loves to dance. I love you. Ps. Keep down on the ciggies, they don't make you smell very nice." Harriet was laughing through her tears as Minho held her close.

"I love you too" she whispered into her palms. Thomas continued with skating breaths.

"Brenda. Brenda Brenda Brenda. What to say to you? Well, I want you to know that I don't hate you like I did when i first met you, even if you do play stupid practical jokes on me and once put a newt down my hoodie" Brenda snorted at the memory, "I never hated you because of who you were. I was scared you were going to take my best friend away from me. But now I see that, you were his soulmate. I don't think I've ever met anyone who has the same flare as Minho, and I'm glad you do. And I wanted to thank you. You are the only one that's put up with my irritability, anger, sadness, hell even down right tantrums, and kept your cool. I can't thank you enough for that, because I never thought I'd find anyone that wouldn't hold a grudge, and could understand. Thank you for being there. Thank you for sticking with me, even when I hated you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being the person Minho needed, and the person I needed. If I were to ask one thing of you, it would be, to look after Tommy and Minho for me. They might end up crashing a few more buses if they don't have supervision. I love you." Brenda grinned through her tears, gripping a small necklace that she recounted as being a present from the blond. Thomas squeezed her hand and went on, getting more and more nervous by the second.

"Hey Min'. So I know you're probably gonna be pissed at me about ending up in the situation where you have to read this letter, so sorry I guess. I know this is really dumb and sentimental, which, I know is neither your style nor mine, but I seriously have to thank you. Thank you for taking me to the hospital that day. I know I was angry and yelled at you, and to be honest I don't really know why you kept coming, but I'm glad you did. You are the strongest person I have ever met, and I have you to thank, because you let me become stronger and a better person. And you introduced me to some of my favourite people in the entire world, so thank you. I mean it you shank, don't roll your eyes at me" Thomas glanced up, meeting Minho mid eye roll. "I'm serious. Thanks Min'. For everything. I couldn't ask for a better best friend. If I had to ask you to do anything for me, it would be, don't beat yourself up so much. You know what I'm talking about, especially with Mark so just, slim it. Trust me it'll clear your conscience if you let the world go by without taking it all on your shoulders. Thanks Minho. I love you." Minho put his palms to his closed eyes, patting Thomas's shoulder in Thanks.

"Sonya. Hi kiddo. Listen, I know I wasn't there when you needed me too, and there are a million ways I could have been a better brother, but I want you to know that I tried. I tried my hardest to find you, and there is no way in hell I'll let that go because if those shuckfaces don't keep trying I'll haunt their asses." Part of Thomas wondered wether he should really be reading this, it felt like a breach of privacy. But Newt had told him to read it, so that's what he was doing. "Don't worry, I made sure Harriet knows about the vanilla cake. Please don't be sad. If I am dead, doesn't mean I'm gone. Remember what I used to tell you when we were younger? We could be on other sides of the world, but I'm always with you. You just need to find your heartbeat. I want you to do something for me. Dance. Keep dancing. You look beautiful when you dance. I love you Kiddo. Stay strong for me."

That paragraph had set them all off, the prospect that the blond might not be coming back finally sinking in. Thomas scanned ahead, heart stopping when he realised the next paragraph had his name in it.

"Well, go on Thomas." Brenda pushed, unaware of what was to come. The brunette nodded, heart pounding like crazy. He opened his mouth.

"Hey Tommy. So listen, I need you to know something. Maybe I'm not as strong as Minho is, Cuz I know I would never have the guts to say this in real life. Part of me wants to be dead, just to save myself the embarrassment, but it wouldn't be right if you didn't know. Part of me wondered if I should have even be writing to you, if it was just a crush that would pass with time." Thomas's voice caught in his throat. Minho asked with a glance if he wanted him to finish it, but the American shook his head quickly and continued with a shaky step. "But that's just not true. Because if this is what Love feels like, I've never felt anything like it. I love you Tommy, have for a long time now." He whispered, tears already dripping down his face as regret twisted at his heart. "I mean, I thought it was obvious, but your a fairly oblivious person. But then again, I can't really talk. I don't even know if you felt the same way. Even if you didn't, I needed you to know. Take care of yourself Rambo, and don't go crashing any buses without supervision, ok? I love you." He finished, all four of them crying.

"Again, thank you. All of you. You made my life worth living, and I need you to know that you're the reason I regret jumping every day. I wouldn't change anything about the way my life planned out, not a thing. Because all the hurting, it was so worth it. It was so worth it. I love you. Thank you.

Newt."

They sat in silence, Thomas's mind spiralling. Newt had loved him back. He'd felt the same way and Thomas had done nothing. His own fears had gotten in the way. Regret made his head hurt, made his heart ache. He clutched the letter, all four gripping onto eachother and crying. Then he noticed her. The nurse that had been keeping them updated on Newt walking toward them.

Thomas couldn't fingure anything out about her. Wether she came with bad or good news, she still wore the same thin lipped frown and uncaring eyes. She stopped in her heels before them, all four of them visibly holding their breath.

"He's awake.

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