Say you love me

50

It was a fun little party. Joni played everything Pearl wanted to hear and more, she even taught her how to hit notes on the piano to certain songs, and how with a handful of notes, she could play a handful of songs.
She played her entire Summer Lawns album right there in Christine's living room, with Pearl sitting next to her while she played guitar, and sitting on her lap when she played on Chris's piano. Pearl absolutely loved it.

The only trouble came when Joni played "Little Green", when she sang, "So you write him a letter and say/ her eyes are blue / He sends you a poem and she's lost to you /". She looked sad, like someone took her happiness away. Other than that, it was a happy affair.

Once Pearl fell asleep, the party had ended. The other guests had cleared out like there was a fire, but Joni had stayed for a minute.
"I really can't thank you enough for this," Chris said as Joni stood in the doorway.
"Oh, I had a great time! I've never seen anyone so happy to hear me sing," Joni grinned. "Believe me, she adores you."
Joni turned to go, her guitar in her hand, but Chris's words, so gentle and sympathetic, stopped her.
"How old is yours?"

How did she know? She'd never told anyone, not even her parents. She glanced back at Chris, surprised to see a kind look on her face. "I guess she'd be eight now,but she's not mine anymore. I couldn't keep her and sing at the same time. I had to make a choice. Some people can't have everything."

Chris nodded. One mother to another.
"I had to make a choice too," she answered. "I still wonder if it's been the right one. I really don't know."

"Looks right to me," Joni replied. "She's adorable and little and cute. She calls you Mommy. She needs help brushing her hair, or putting on her shoes. She thinks you're the only one in the world, and you've got a safe little bubble where someone loves you, and needs you. I had to make a choice." She turned to go.

Chris shut the door after she watched Joni drive away. The word echoed in her head like a bell, making her ears ring.

Choice.