Riddle's Plea

Friendship*

(T.M.R. January 30, 1944)

     It was quiet now. The only sounds filling the room was the turning of Malfoy's book and the deep breathing of Vienna and Matthews as they slept. Madame Ducane hadn't spoken a word when Matthews pushed another hospital bed right up against Vienna's, didn't even give them a second glance as they both fell asleep side by side. I was...glad that she didn't. The Matron had let us all stay, the need for all of us to be here for Vienna was too great and she could sense that. Malfoy sat beside me on a chair, his nose in some sort of muggle storybook and his breathing quiet. It had taken two hours for Vienna to calm down enough to drink some water and get back into bed. I didn't think the girl had any more tears left in her to continue to cry, but she had surprised us an hour after getting her back into bed. The Weasel had walked through the door and she had burst into tears again. After he had come and gone, she had grown extremely quiet. We explained to her what had happened after "the incident", as Matthews had started to call it. Vienna wasn't surprised after hearing she had a seizure, was even less surprised that she had been out for almost a whole week. She had just nodded in understanding and continued to gaze into space. Professor Merrythought had also come by and apologized to Vienna profusely. It wasn't long after the old Professor left did Vienna fall asleep, Matthews right after her. They were both curled up next to each other, hands intertwined and breathing in sync. 

     The questions were burning in my brain. I had so many questions and the only person who could answer them was Vienna. It reminded me a whole lot of when Vienna first came here. Those people, who were they? Who was that monster? What did they mean? Why did they all have British accents? What are her powers? How did she get so much power? Who is she really? The questions have been on the tip of my tongue the whole time she has been here and they were growing steadily. I didn't understand who she was, or why I could care for her. I didn't understand how she got her. I didn't understand anything about Vienna Marcus and it was eating me up inside. How did this girl get under my skin so quickly? How does she know exactly what to say and when to say it? My patience was growing thinner and thinner. But then, she woke up today. I could hear her screaming from the other end of the castle. They weren't screams of fear. They were screams of uncontrolled anguish. Her screams ripped through my very soul, slicing their way deep into the recess of my mind and awakening something that I didn't even know I had. The need to get to her was all consuming. But when I finally did it was like someone had taken out my soul and lit it on fire. She was standing, trying to run towards something but flinched and faltered. Her knees had hit the floor with a sickening crack and a gut-wrenching sob had escaped her. 

     I could still see the look on her face as clear as day. How pale she was. How her violet eyes were dull and lifeless. The sobs escaping from her mouth made me want to fall to my knees. Every tear that fell from her eyes was like a knife to my chest. I didn't understand it. Then she looked at me, her eyes slightly squinted like something was blinding her. I hadn't even noticed that I was kneeling in front of her, my arm outstretched towards her. It hurts. She had told me it hurt. She didn't need to tell me because I could feel it. Slowly but surely she had made her way over to me, sobs still racking through her frail body. I couldn't even begin to describe how it felt. How it felt to hold her to me. How it felt to have her seek comfort in me of all people in the room. How she had only managed to see me. What was this? I didn't dare ask her any questions. She's been through enough. 

      So now, I sit here. Every once in a while, my gaze falls on the sleeping girls and a quiet sigh escapes me. Vienna was safe. So what was bothering me? My eyes find the boy next to me. I clear my throat and stretch my legs out in front of me. "Abraxas?" His head snaps towards me so quickly I was almost positive he had broken his neck. His grey eyes are wide with shock and his mouth was slightly open. After a few moments of him staring at me, he blinks and clears his throat. "Yeah?" It was now my turn to feel awkward. I look towards the sleeping figures on the bed before me again before breathing in deep. "Is this what it's like?" I wave a hand towards the girls and him. "Friendship?" It's quiet for so long that I think for a moment he had fallen asleep, but as I look over at him he's still looking at me like I had lost my mind. I grunt in annoyance and he jumps at the sound. "I'm sorry. What?" He's leaning towards me and I roll my eyes at him. "Friendship Malfoy. Is this what this is?" His gaze flows around the room, landing on the girls and then meeting mine again. "Yes." His answer is so abrupt that I find myself raising an eyebrow in disbelief. "Yes?" I ask him, leaning my elbows on my knees and clearing my throat again. "Yes." He answers again, a hint of irritation coming from the tone of his voice. "How do you know?" His eyebrows rise to the top of his forehead in surprise at my question. I suddenly feel very childish with my questions and I feel myself slightly sinking into my chair. "Because we're all here together."

     The voice doesn't come from Malfoy, it comes from Matthews, whose now slowly sitting up in the bed and trying not to wake Vienna. "So, just because we're all in the same room together, that makes us friends?" I ask the waking girl. She chuckles at my question and I refrain myself from hexing her. "No Tom. We're friends of Vienna." Her gaze drops from mine and lands on the still sleeping form beside her. "She brought us all together. We all care for her. I guess we're friends by association." My mind spins with her words as I try to contemplate what she's saying. "So. Friendship? It's about being associated with someone you care about?" She doesn't chuckle with my question, but just gives me a questioning look. It's quiet for a few moments, my eyes jump from Matthews to Malfoy and back again. "Tom..." Matthews clears her throat and finally meets my gaze again. "Friendship is about being there for someone. For listening to them when they need to talk. For knowing who they are on the inside, not the outside. Friendship is having someone to go to if you're sad or upset. Someone who will stick by your side but who also isn't afraid to tell you when you're doing something wrong. Friendship isn't one big defined thing. It's a million little things all put together." I lean away from her and focus on her words. It's quiet again, my mind is spinning and my gaze is focused on the wall across from me. "So. Are you two my friends?" I finally ask, my voice hesitant and uncertain. "No." They say in unison. My anger rears it's ugly head and my hand twitches towards my wand. "But I would like to be Tom..." Matthews voice halts my actions and my eyes snap to her. "Only if you let me." She finishes but her gaze doesn't leave mine. "Same." Malfoy's voice gathers my attention, and he's looking at me with truthfulness in his eyes. "Alright." I say to them after a few tense moments, my heart is beating quickly with the prospect of having actual friends. Is this what Vienna and I had? Friendship? It doesn't feel like it. It feels like something more. Something more important and more defined. It was eating me up, not knowing what it was. But I was going to find out.