Speed of Sound

Chapter 12 - I'm dating batman and it feels right

When Alex left, I was okay; only crying myself to sleep at night when I was alone. Of course after a week, the depression got me. I don't remember those days clearly, it feels as if I was asleep; everything moving in slow motion and the only thing that felt real was the pain in my chest, causing me to stop breathing several times.

The renovation was the perfect distraction, brought me back from the dead, especially with Damien being there. The weird thing was that no matter how horrible the heartache was and how empty I felt, Damien still had a part in my heart. How a dead heart could still hold a place for someone was beyond me. James also was a big part of me being not depressed. The days I would most likely act like a zombie, he was around the house or my garage more often. Sometimes I think Cleo ordered him to do so when she couldn't be with me.

Even now, two days after Alex came back, I sit on my couch staring at the open TV and thinking that when I think of Alex, I feel the pain in my chest. The pain that makes me whimper makes me want to curl into a ball and let the misery have me. I've let myself get attached too much even though I haven't planned it. I thought I got to know how he was under the arrogant, demanding and wealthy surface. He just needed to be loved and I've completely fell into the trap and fell for him.

Of course there's no deed without a consequence. When I think of getting back with Alex, the hole is filled, the pain vanishes and I feel happy. But then, questions are filling my mind. What if he cheats on me again? What if he leaves again? And every thought I had before comes back.

The pain seems to go away when I'm thinking of Damien; I feel comfort. So why can't I make a choice if it seems so easy?

My mobile vibrated from next to me on couch; pulling me out of my thoughts. I sighed and looked at the screen. Alex. I bit my lip for a second but then I pushed the button and put the phone against my ear.

He wanted to go out for a drink; to see me. I was hesitant at first, just like the first time he was after me, but my heart jumping off my chest was screaming for me to go with him. And so I did.

[+++]

As soon as I sat in his car and saw his beautiful face, I've almost forgot everything. Almost. I felt relaxed around him, acting like always but wasn't going anywhere near my actual feelings. I didn't want to let myself be sentimental.

An hour and a drink later we were standing at the VIP area of a club, holding our drinks. I was moving to the rhythm as he was resting his elbow against the tall table next to us; staring at me. I narrowed my eyes at him and moved closer to his ear.

"Stop doing that," I said as he placed his arm around my waist.

"What?" he asked and I pulled back; my eyes still narrowed.

"Staring at me," I explained. His smirk turned into a smile and I was just looking at him now.

He put his other hand on my neck and pulled me into a kiss. A weird sensation rushed through my stomach as I felt his lips against mine and I kissed him back. I parted my lips and breathed his breath, his tongue entering my mouth and stroking my tongue eagerly. My hand reached up and tangled in his soft blond hair. He pulled back and kissed the skin before my ear; my hand fell around his neck.

"I've missed you so much," he whispered to me; his hand squishing lightly around my waist. I took a deep breath and felt my hand curled into a fist around his neck as I tried to keep myself together.

"Me too," was all I managed to say back and his grip around my waist tightened for a minute before he loosen his grip. My breath caught in my throat and even if I could breathe I felt asphyxiated. I put one hand on the table for support and a hand against my chest.