Regret and Jealousy A BTS FanFic

Aftermath

My hands were tied in this situation. I decided to try a maneuver. I pulled jimins shoulders and yes that did make him closer and yes his eyes were like the eyes of an owl only bigger and yes I might have sneaked a touch of his abs while I was moving. I twisted myself and got out, plus jimin seemed balanced and stable too.

"What just happened?" Jungkook mumbled.

Jimin and I look at each other. Our faces were tomatoes and eyes were big full moons. I touched my lips, for a guy, he had super soft and docile lips.

We stared at each other for probably a good minute before Jimin broke the silence with,
"I... am... uh. I'm going back upstairs. Sorry for disturbing you both." Up the stairs he went, walking this time.

"Okay.. that just happened..." I said to Jungkook, turning to face him. His eyes filled with tears as he ran away. "And that also just happened... WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!" I yelled while the room bounced my voice back to me.

***

"I can't believe I just ran off like that!" Jungkook wiped his face with his hands. "Why am I even crying?! I don't care about her. She's just a girl. I can get any girl I want. There's probably tons of girls like her. It's not like I like her I just don't... we've only just met again, it should go slow like everyone else's relationships! Why is this one going so fast yet it feels like it's going just the right pace to me! Damn heart, can't even decide right."

Jimin laid on his bed. He felt his lips, "she had such soft lips. Is this what kissing a girl feels like?" Jimin sat up, "I feel disappointed with myself. Is it bad if I want to kiss her again?"

Jimin grinned, "if I wasn't such a nice guy I'd probably end up trying to get her before Jungkook. God! What am I thinking? Jungkook probably likes her if he's willing to stare at her like that. I shouldn't get involved."

Jungkook sat in the living room, on the red love seat by the TV, "(Y/N) probably hates me now. Why did I run away from her?! She's probably confused! I should go to her."

***

I played with my hair as I sat down on the bottom step of the stairs. Did I make Jungkook run away? Did I hurt him somehow? I didn't do anything. So why do I feel like I want to die in a hole right now? Well, I can't blame myself. I want to die in a hole almost everyday, but today is where I want to die in a hole with fire. I burried my head in my hands.

"(Y/N)." Jungkook approached me from the front. He sat down beside me. Hesitant at first, but put his arm around me, "I'm sorry I ran off like that."

"Did I do something? It was an accident. Why would you care anyway?! It's not like you love me or something. We're just friends."

"Ouch. Friend zoned. But I don't know why I ran out. I don't think it was you so don't worry."

I looked over at Jungkook, his eyes were glassed over, wet with tears.

"Listen, I think I should go... We shouldn't meet again. It's too much trouble."

Jungkook grabbed my hand while I turned to leave. He took it to his face, "No. I've been waiting too long for you to just walk away," He held my hand tighter, "Please don't leave me."

His face was that of a puppy's. I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. I took my other hand and cupped it around his other cheek. He was just like a kid without his mom. I felt like I had to stay with him. I felt like it was my fault he's like this. But I'm just some random girl he met in school. There's nothing special about me. I'm probably just some girl to him. But the look on his face tells me otherwise. 

"I'm nothing. You can find a hundred better women out there," I smiled "I'm no one to you."

Jungkook looked confused and horrified. He let go of my hand and got close to me, so close I could feel his breath on my face, "You mean everything to me. Without you during school, I probably wouldn't have even made it to BigHit. I wouldn't even have made it into the school I wanted to go to! You've inspired me so much throughout the years, and tortured me when we left. I want those lost moments back and even though that sounds super cheap and sappy, it's true."

I glanced down, there was no way for me to calmly respond to that. Sure I had missed him while he was gone, but not to that extent. I never realized that I actually meant that much to people. Most times these things only happened in movies or books. It never existed for real life.

"Listen, you don't have to feel the same, I just wanted you to know that you're special to me, and you'll never be less."

I was special to someone? That's new. Everyone I had ever known told me I was trash. Even my best friend. What do I say to someone who says I'm special to them? Do I say they're special to me? Do I tell them my true feelings? I don't want to lie. I stared at Jungkook who was brushing his hair back behind his ear and glancing behind himself. I took a deep breath, "I really do appreciate you, but this won't work out. You're busy. We'll barely have anytime to hang out!"

"Let's meet at the auditorium, every Tuesday."

"What?"

"The auditorium. I'll be there around 5 Tuesday. I hope to see you there." Jungkook left me on the bottom of the steps. I arched an eyebrow, was I just abandoned? Okay, interesting. I left the house, one problem I found out as soon as I walked out the door was that I had no clue where I was. Great, another problem that needs to be solved.