Marriage By Law

31. Tourmenting Ourselves

The next morning I got up and Al was sitting at the dining table drinking coffee and looking at his phone.

"Good morning." I said.

"Morning." He said. I looked him over and he was dressed causually and didn't even have shoes on.

"Do you not have anywhere to be this morning?" I asked.

"No, is that a problem?"

"No." I said going into the fridge. I kept my eye on him the entire time just taking him in. I wanted to ask him if he still wanted to talk, but I was past it honestly. It's been made pretty obvious he doesn't want to communicate with me on a deeper level. Maybe we can make this work if we just stay out of each other's way. I grabbed a water and walked out into the living room. If only it had stayed like before where we were just friends and not mad at each other then I bet we could get through this, but being attracted to him and being mad at him tears me apart.

"Hey," Al said coming downstairs and picking up his car keys. He was all dressed up now. "I'm going out. I'll be back."

"I thought you didn't have anywhere to be."

"Don't worry." He said. "I'll be right back."

"Ok." I said looking back to the TV. He walked over and surprised me by kissing my forehead.

"Bye."

"Bye." I said watching him leave. I wonder where he's going. "He never tells me anything."

I alleviated the boredem by by cleaning up around the house and straightening some of the things Al left in bad places. After I finished that, I went into the kitchen to make something for myself real quick.

I heard the door open and smiled. Al walked in and behind me wrapping his arms around my waist. "Hey." He said kissing my neck. "I brought breakfast back."

"Oh really?" I asked turning the stove top off and turning to face him. "Because I just started to heat up a pan to make something that I had not thought of yet."

"Well I'm glad that I could help you." He said looking into my eyes. I tried to find a reason to hate him but my mind was focused on so many other things. Like what did his lips taste like? What was he thinking? Did he want me as much as I want him right now?

"Hey Al." I mumbled.

"What?" He asked.

"I wanna kiss you so bad." I told him shaking my head.

"Ok." He said. The closer I got the farther he moved away until I gave up and he went over to the food and started unboxing it.

I shrugged and sighed. "Well I guess after breakfast?"

He ignored me and grabbed a plate putting the food on it. I nodded catching on and got my food as well.

"So how long do you plan on giving me the partial silient treatment?" I asked pouring a cup of orange juice. He prayed and started eating and I followed.

"Well you probably saw from my Instagram, but I had a lot of fun in Japan with Yvette." I said. "I've always wanted to go on vacation except I imagined my time trip going a little differently. I liked it, I just was hoping that I'd go with my significant other and have sex with them. It's a dream of mine. To have sex in as many locations on Earth as possible. Something low enough on the bucket list to pass over but high enough to still wanna do it."

"Still nothing?" I asked him. "Yeah, still nothing."

I just feel like nothing I say sparks any emotion from him. I just said the stupidest thing ever and he still has no response.

"You know sometimes I really wish that we could have a regular conversation." He said angrily standing up and pushing in his chair. "But anytime we sit down it's sex and how can Al change. What can I say to piss Al off? If I bring up my weird fantasies maybe I can get him to submit to me."

He walked over to my side of the table and bent over me. "Stand up." He told me. I looked up at him and he motioned for me to listen to him. I pushed my chair back and stood up looking him in his eyes the entire time.

He grabbed the back of my neck and stated kissing me. His hands began to move over my body stopping in places I thought he wouldn't. "We're gonna do this ok?" He said looking me in my eyes. I was just shocked at what was going on even being in the dark. "You've begged and I'm giving in."

"Ok but why?" I asked looking him up and down. "You were so against it." Honestly I was scared. I'd never done this before and he's expecting me to just go along like a pro. What am I supposed to do! I don't want to blow my lie, but doesn't losing your virginity hurt?

"I don't want to fight anymore Ezzy. I want to love you and take care of you and if this is where we have to start then so be it. I want you so much more than keeping to my belief." He said in a less aggressive tone. "I just want you to be happy."

I took a slow blink and started smiling. His expression didn't change and he started kissing me again before picking me up and taking back to his room. He set me on the bed and pulled his shirt off. I just kind of sat there stuck. I mean was this really happening? What am I gonna do? He's going to rip me in half he's huge!

"Go ahead and get undressed." He said. I slowly started getting undressed leaving just my undergarments on. "What's the matter?" He asked. "I'll only judge you in a positive way." He told me walking over and grabbing my waist unhooking my bra. I took a deep breath and he started kissing me again.

Everything was going good until he stopped and started calling to me. "Ez? Ezzy? Eseralda? Ezzy are you ready?"

"I'm ready." I told him turning away from him. "Way to ruin the mood. I'm not interested anymore." I sighed feeling like I dodged a bullet.

"Oh no. There's no going back." He said smiling and taking me all the way.

I woke up but I was on the couch, and Al was crying next to me, and my heart was racing and my nose was bleeding.

"Oh thank God you're awake." He said jumping forward and hugging me. "I just called EMS they should be here soon. What happened do you remember?" He asked.

"Wait so I was dreaming? And what do you mean what happened?" I asked.

"I came home and you were on the kitchen floor passed out with blood dripping from your nose." He said. "I'm just so glad you're awake." He ran to answer the door and the EMS doctors rushed in and over to me.

I insisted that I was fine, but Al made me go to the hospital just to be safe. I can't believe that entire thing was a dream. I'm kinda glad though. I don't believe I was ready and if it did happen I'd be forcing myself to have sex. I wonder if he really feels like that? It's impossible to know now. I sat up and Al insisted that I take it slow and be careful.

"I'm fine." I told him with a reassuring smile. "It's happened before. I'm fine it's just a cause of stress." I lied to him. Not about it reacurring, but about it being caused from stress.

"Ok." He said sitting back. "Well why are you so stressed?"

"It's nothing." I told him. He looked at me with worried eyes. "Al. I'm serious." I said grabbing his hand and smiling. "I'm fine. Honestly."

"Ezzy, repeating that won't make stop worrying you." Al said standing up. "You're stressed to the point you're passing out. That's not ok. I care about you and I want you to know you can tell me what's wrong."

"Al I'm not lying. There's just a few things on my mind that have me on edge and I let it get that best of me." I told him with a smile.