Mr. Han || J.H

Chapter Thirty One : Family

The current time was around 3am and you were sat in your bed with your knees up to your face, as silent tears rolled down your face. A sniffle could be heard every so often, but besides from that, you held back everything. Your hair was sticking up in random places and your bed covers were pulled off to the side, you didn't even know how they got there, you just know that you woke up and broke down.
You need comfort, you need a hug and someone to cry on... someone who you know cares. You didn't even want to go to Jumin, you'd only worry him. Zen. That was it.
You reached over to your bedside table and sniffled again, trying to hold back tears as you unlocked your iPhone. You let out a small sob when you go to text Zen, you need family help. And Zen... Zen is and will be the only family you can trust.

Y/N😴 : Zen?

Zen💀 : How come you're awake? Is something wrong??

Y/N😴 : I need you

You didn't get a response after that, instead, you heard footsteps and a knock on your door. The knock though, the knock caused you to let out a loud sob. Zen opened the door immediately and ran over to you, pulling you into a tight hug. He rocked you back and forth as you clutched onto his chest as if he was the last person you'd see for ten years. "Hey... hey, what happened?" Zen whispered as you continued to cry, you don't even know what happened yourself... you just, you just broke down.

"I- I do-" Zen cut you off by shushing you as he cradled you in his lap, just as he would do when you were younger.

"Aw look at them," Your mother said to your father, who smiled peacefully at the two children he was looking at. You were sucking your thumb, fast asleep in Zen's lap. While Zen, on the other hand, continued to rock you back and forth.
He was protecting you because you felt sad and lost, Zen was the brother and friend that you never had.

Once you had calmed down a little, you stopped clutching into Zen's shirt, but you didn't move. Zen sat there too, holding you tightly, hoping that he can be the big brother you deserve to have. "Zen... I-" You couldn't speak.

"Y/N, hun..." Zen whispered, "What happened?" You looked down at your hands, and chuckled before starting to cry again. Zen noticed this and lifted up your head to face him, "I can't help if I don't know the problem." And you knew he was correct, Zen usually always is.

"I- I don't know..." Your voice cracked, but you pushed on. "I just- I woke up and... and I just started to cry... and- I know- I just... I'm being pathetic." You said and Zen immediately pulled you into a hug again.

"Y'know Y/N, I know there's a lot of shit on your mind." Zen whispered and you hesitated, but nodded. "And I know you also don't like to tell your feelings to people..." You shook your head and Zen rubbed your shoulders reassuringly. "But I also know something else, and that's that we are family. We don't let the other go through a hard time without making an effort to help, right?" You hummed.

"But... I don't want to bother you..." You muttered, knowing fine well that everything you were going to say, was going to piss him off. You just knew it.

"If you bothered me, I would've fucked off Y/N. But I didn't, I let you meet my friends and move in, I immediately came here after seeing that you needed me." Zen started to rock you back and forth again, calming down your increasing heartbeat. "You're my little sister, you're my family, you're my blood. I'm not leaving, I'm going to help you... I promise."

You look at him in the dark and you can see his goofy smile, you can sense his sincerity and for once, you want to let everything out. "Everything hurts... I feel as if- as if I'm going to... I'm going to be the reason every friendship in this household falls... falls apart," You started, steadying your breathing. "And you probably don't just- I can't... I can't live with myself because I don't want to be the reason you... you lose friends." The room fell silent.

"Go on..." Zen smiled.

"And everyday it just- it just gets worse and worse, and I seriously feel like I'm falling apart inside and out and there's nothing I can do about it apart from fucking smile and carry on with this life that just... it never ends! I don't know if I'm gonna be happy anymore and I don't fucking know if I'm going to be able to keep my cool in school around Sarah either, and-"

"Sarah?" Zen asked and you froze. "What did she do?" You stayed silent, Sarah has been doing everything to get on your nerves lately and you've been trying everything to ignore her. But there have been occasional times you've cried to yourself in the bathroom, hence why you've been late to Jumin's classes a few times. "Y/N..."

You snicker dryly, "What hasn't she done to me? Huh? She's done everything fucking imaginable to me, Sarah's hurt me so much that I cried in the school bathroom!" Your voice was slowly getting louder and louder, just as more and more tears welled up in your dulling E/C eyes. "Those detentions? Because I was late. Because I was dealing with shit I can't fucking spurt out because it hurts!"

You got up off of the bed and started to breathe heavily, "Y/N, calm-"

You turned to him with tears in your eyes, "Don't you see...?" You whispered, before choking out a sob. "I can't calm down..." You ran a hand through your hair and sobbed even louder, almost choking on your own heavy breathing. Zen was already trying to calm you down, but at this point, you were too far beyond calming down.

"I want to help you, please..." Zen's voice cracked, he hated seeing you like this, when he does. It breaks him. "Y/N- What're...?" You looked at him and looked down at your wrists with shaky hands.
Small scratches, nothing too much.

"I want- I can't..." The room began to spin, sobs filled the room and Zen was beginning to cry too.
You did this.

ZEN'S POV.

I didn't think she was this bad. She's standing in the middle of the room, sobbing to herself as she's holding back screams. What am I doing? Watching. All I can do is watch, I've always been the person to sit back and watch as people fall apart. But not today.
I ran to the bathroom door with tears in my eyes and ran into Jumin's room. I didn't stop myself from waking him up out of whatever dream he was having, "Zen- What the fuck is your-"

"Help me... Y/N..." I whispered through tears and Jumin didn't hesitate, he jumped out of bed and pulled on a pair of pants, ignoring the shirtless thing.
He ran into Y/N's room and immediately pulled her into a hug and sat her down.

I tried my hardest.

YOUR POV.

These arms were different, these were Jumin's. You just cried more and more and more, finding every small reason to cry. "You're okay, it's okay." Jumin whispered to you over and over again. "I've got you, I'm here now."

As minutes went on, you had stopped crying and you were barely awake. It was almost 5am, Jumin was half asleep, Zen was struggling to stay awake, but they both did it. And they did it to make sure you were okay.
Once you had fallen asleep, Jumin sighed and looked at Zen. "What...?"

Zen wiped his eyes, ignoring the look of your tired and beatdown self. "She's been hiding a lot of things in... y'know, Y/N isn't the person to speak about her problems and I just-" Jumin nodded and Zen stopped talking, looking at you before sighing deeply. "Jumin, please keep an eye on her... you're her teacher, please Jumin if I lose my sister..."

Jumin lay you down on the bed and tucked you in, before sitting down at the edge of your bed. He looked at Zen, "I'm not going to let anything happen to her."

Zen looked at Jumin, "You promise?"

Jumin looked at your sleeping body and nodded slowly, "I swear."

———
"Lights off, you've been living in my thoughts."

I'm sorry that this is sad, but it'll hold a place in the future. I swear.