Secret

Chapter 6

Chapter 6: too close

Too close, it had definitely been too close last night. Yoongi only realised that after he had woken up and saw his little stuff badly hidden. Of course the first thing he did was clean his place and hide his little stuff very well. The second thing he did was checking if Jin might look at him different, indicating that he knows about Yoonie. Luckily this wasn't the case and Yoongi finally allowed himself to relax. 

"Namjoon, are you gonna go to the studio today as well?" Yoongi asked when he saw Namjoon entering the kitchen. "I was planning on going yes, why?" "because I was hoping you would, we can finish the song we were working on yesterday." "We finished that already?" "I know but I had an idea when I woke up this morning and want to try it out. You coming?" "Okay, let me finish my breakfast though." "Mornin'!" Namjoon said when he saw Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung enter the kitchen. "Mowning Joonie!" Kookie muttered back. "Oh hey Kookie, are you little today as well?" "Yus, Kookie wants to play." "You first need to eat some breakfast little prince." Jimin said while petting Kookies hair. "Okay Dada, but aftew I wanna play!" "We can play after you finish your breakfast, don't worry about it!" "Jimin, do you and Jungkook have schedule today?" Namjoon asked. He had wanted to record a guide version of the new song he had written with Jungkook but that was going to be hard this way. "Not that I know of, why?" "I wanted to record a guide version with Jungkook for the new song I wrote, but with little Kookie here that's gonna to be hard." "Mhm, I'll text you if Jungkook is big again after his nap. Do you have to do it today or is tomorrow fine as well?" "We have a little schedule tomorrow but if you can't get Kookie to go big today then we could record it tomorrow as well, you don't have to force him big, don't worry." "Thank you hyung!" Yoongi had followed the conversation and wasn't happy about it. Jungkook was little, again, and Yoongi had actually looked forward to working with Namjoon but seeing as he had other things planned as well it wasn't going to be as much fun as Yoongi had hoped. "Namjoon-ah, I'm going to the studio." Yoongi said while leaving the table, he wasn't going to deal with a little right now, absolutely not. 

Everyone looked at eachother while Yoongi left. They couldn't really say they were surprised by Yoongi's actions, but it did make them sad. It was driving the group appart. "Jin-hyung, do you think Yoongi-hyung has been acting even worse then lately towards our Kookie?" Taehyung asked. He really didn't like how his hyung was acting towards his dongsaeng. It was making him sad, especially because it was taking a toll on both Jungkook and Yoongi. "I don't know what's wrong with Yoongi but yes, he had definitely been acting worse towards Kookie." Jimin looked around at the members and then at Kookie who was almost crying. "D-does Y-y-yoonie not l-like K-k-kookie?" Kookie asked while sobbing. "Sssh, little prince" Jimin said while hugging Kookie. "It's okay, it's not your fault that Yoongi-hyung has been acting weird, it's Yoongi-hyung his own fault. You are perfect to us little prince." "B-but then w-why does he a-act so s-s-stupid?" "We don't know little prince, we don't know." 

Yoongi was feeling lonely again, something that was becoming normal to him. Hiding his little self for over 7 years was finally taking toll. He knew it was only a matter of time before he was going to slip while one of the members was with him, and at this point he was just hoping that day wouldn't be any time soon. As soon as he arrived at his studio his thoughts took over.  At least I get to work with Namjoon for a bit so I won't be lonley the whole time. Maybe I should just leave BTS, they are better of without me anyway. Right now I'm only driving us apart and hurting Kookie. And it's not like my songs are helping BTS, non of the songs I wrote got on the album in the end so why am I even trying?  After a minute or 5 the thoughts got taken over by voice once more. The voice were as scary if not scarier as normal. 

"You should leave BTS."

"They don't need you anyway."

"You aren't good enough to be here."

"You aren't good enought to live." 

"You should just die." 

"Nobody will miss you anyway." 

"Hyung? are you in here?" Namjoon said, effectively shutting down the voices. "Y-yes, c-come in." Yoongi answered, unable to hide that he was shivering. He hadn't even realised that he was shivering, and crying. "Yoongi-hyung, are you okay?" "I-it's nothing Namjoon, don't worry about me." "is it the voices again hyung?" "Y-ye" Yoongi whispered. "Why didn't you tell us before that the voices were back hyung? You promised us you would tell!" "I'm fine Namjoon, really." "Hyung! I know you are not, you have been acting weird." That was too much for Yoongi, he felt himself slipping. "Yoonie sowwy." Yoonie whispered very very soft. "What did you say?" Namjoon asked very surprised. He wasn't sure if he had heard Yoongi right or not. 5 seconds after little Yoonie had given his appology big Yoongi had already taken over again. He really wasn't ready for any of the members to know about his little side yet. "Nothing Namjoon. It was nothing." "If you say so?" Namjoon said, not convinced at all. "Let's work on the song alright." "Okay? You know I'll tell Jin about this right?" "About what?!" Yoongi asked very shocked, hoping it wasn't about little Yoonie. "About the voices hyung, about what else?" "No, please don't tell Jin, I don't want him or any of you to worry about me! I'm not worth it!" "Hyung, we told you before, you are worth it and we care about you. And besides that, we are already worrying about you. You have been acting even worse then normal around Kookie and you have been locking yourself in your room!" "I-I'm sorry for making you all worry, won't happen again." "Hyung, you don't understand. We worry because we care! You don't have to be sorry about that, just let us help you!" One day Namjoon, one day. Yoongi thought. 

Namjoon had decided to go home after he and Yoongi finished the song they were working on and made a start to a new song. On the way home Namjoon was far in thoughts, mostly about that one little sentence he had heard Yoongi say. He wasn't sure what he had heard but he thought it was something like 'Yoongi sowwy' and it had sounded like a little was talking. But then again, he wasn't sure, he wasn't sure at all. Yoongi had been reacting bad to Kookie ever since Kookie first slipped so the thought of Yoongi being a little as well was just weird to him. He wasn't even sure if he had just imagined the voice or if it had really been Yoongi. And if it was Yoongi he wasn't sure what Yoongi had said because it was so soft. Namjoon decided to just leave it for now. If Yoongi was a little, he would know that everyone in BTS accepts littles (everyone but he himself, that is). 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  

A/n: I'm sorry for the lag of updates, I'm at my boyfriends so I don't have as much time to write. I'll try to update as much as possible but don't expect me to update daily like I did. ^^ I hope this chapter was worth the wait!