Black Leather and White Fur (Chat Noir X Reader)

Ch 19

"That's a pretty dress you're wearing (y/n)," Kama whispered solemly.

I looked at the mirror, I was wearing a lacey black dress that went just past my knees. I had a belt just below my bust that hooked in the front with a bow.

"Well I thought if I was going to mourn I was going to look sexy while doing it," I replied, numb and sarcastic.

Kama didn't reply back, she just looked at me with sad eyes. I knew she was millennia old, so she must have seen so much death. Both of her previous holders and dear ones to them.

How does she handle it?

I looked back to the mirror and set my jaw. I grabbed a little grey cross-shoulder purse. I opened it, stuck a granola bar and placed it in. I grabbed two handkerchiefs and placed them in as well. I held it open and Kama softly floated down on top of the pieces of cloth. I closed the zipper and set off in my flats down the stairs.

The viewing was nice. Lots of flowers, lots of people, family and friends wishing condolences. I was determined not to cry in front of these people, I did my crying. I am strong, for better or for worse. And for the most part I was, I was without feeling in the world.

Until I looked at the refreshment table in the back. The table was filled with cupcakes and cakes and baked goods. Truffles and cookies alike. That knife was able to break through the cold steel of my feelings.

I couldn't stay after that. Luckily it was the end of the ceremony so I didn't miss much.

But I will not be able to forget her face in the casket. Her hair beautifully curled in the way she would never do. Makeup she would be caught dead wearing- well I guess she was. The wounds on her face and hands covered up the best they could in that makeup. She was dressed in a dress that I'm pretty sure she would have saved for prom.

But all I could think was her broken body. On the floor of the station, surrounded by even more bodies.

It was sick. The world was sick. Everything is sick.

I was sick... But in a different sense of the word.

I was sick of people, sick of politics, sick of fights, sick of the sickness of everything.

But I will have to build up my walls to that again.

I sat with my back against a wall. I was overlooking the river. It was steadily flowing by, not a care in the world. I used to be like that.

I don't think I'll ever be like that again. I hope to be, but I think I will always have a beam in the way. Maybe a bridge beam, blocking the way, causing a disturbance.

Kama interrupted my thoughts as she came out of my bag. She was munching on her granola bar.  She finished it off and started to soothingly play with a strand of my hair.

I started to fiddle with the fidget toy that Trenton gave me. I must have subconsciously grabbed it on my way out the door.

"Are you okay?" She asked, she must have very well known that I was not alright, but there isn't much to say in these situations.

"No," she didn't stop messing with my hair like she was expecting that answer.

I looked at her more in the eye, "but I hope to be."