The boy from cruise

chapter 10

Chapter 10 (Alec's POV)
"Shhh..." I whispered "It's okay. I am here now. It's all over. I'm sorry you went through all of this by yourself. If I met you earlier this wouldn't have happened." "Alexander. Don't blame yourself for something you didn't even know about. Okay?" He leaned in closer and than suddenly I felt soft lips on mine. I was so shoked that I didn't kiss him back. This was wrong. "This is wrong. You shouldn't kiss me. Sorry. But I'm not gay. Okay? I'm NOT gay!" "Alexander, I am so sorry. I-I didn't know. I thought...you know. You might are. Well maybe I still do think that way. But if you think you aren't gay, than I will believe you." He stands up. Shit. I am so dumb right now. He let out a single tear. "Goodbye, Alexander" And he's gone. Damn it! He's gone because I'm such an asshole. I like him. A tear rolled down my cheeks.
(In the evening)
I am sitting on my bed.
I grab my phone.
•'I can't come tonight. Something came up. I'm sorry, Raphael.'
I put my phone back on the nightstand. I lay down and I hit my pillow with my fist. I finally found someone who likes me back, kisses me, and I just tell him I'm not gay?! I don't even dare to admit that I am gay. Tears were now streaming down my face. There was a knock on the door. "Alec! You're gonna be late! Open up, I need to find you somerhing nice to wear!" It was Izzy screaming behind the door. "Don't bother, I'm not going anyway!" "WTF is wrong with you? This is your dream. Tell me what's wrong. And open the door or I'll kick it open!" I was wearing a grey hoodie and black joggers. My eyes still red and swollen from the crying. I walk over to the door and than I open it. Izzy stormed in. "Alexander Gideon Lightwood, what the hell just happened to you?!" She was really pissed off, but I could see that she was worried about me. "Nothing. I am just not going." "And why are you not dressed up for dinner, huh? At least you should eat something. So Alec, please. Tell me what's wrong with you?" And she sits down on my bed. "I am so stupid, Iz" and I let fall down some tears again. "Alec? What is it?" "When I went to the bar I met a guy, Magnus. He's definatally the prettiest person I've ever met. But I was getting nervous and I couldn't breath properly. And got a panic attack. He went looking for me and helped me. Than we spoke a little and he truely inderstands me Iz. But than, than he kissed me. But I didn't kiss him back because I'm such a dick Izzy! I told him to stop and that I'm not into guys. And...and than he walked away." "Alec, calm down. Why don't you just tell him you like him. It's not that hard you know?" "You don't get it! He's a f*cking guy!" I was angry. Not at her, but at myself. "Alec. It is your own life you are ruining. I do not care. But if you want to be unhappy your whole life, go ahead. I will not stop you. But I won't tell you what to do anymore. It's your life. I just want you to be happy, alec. Happy with yourself. And I'll always love you. No matter what. And so will Jace and max. Even Simon. Now I need to go. Good night, alec. And think about what I said to you." She walked out and shut the door with a loud bang. I pull my blanked over me and I fall asleep"
(Izzy's POV)
I feel sorry for alec. So I decide to find that Magnus guy. I search through the list of all the people who work here. Than I found his picture. Alec was right. He really was handsome. He is a bartender I read. "Isabel, have you seen your brother? He's late" maryse said. "Ohw yea. Actually he is asleep. He doesn't feel to well" "ohww"
-
Afer dinnerwe went to the bar. There I saw that guy from the picture. He looks sad somehow. I walk over to him. "Are you Magnus?" I ask. He looks up with a questioning face. "Yes. Can I help you?" "Yes, you can. Please help Alec. My brother. I am so sorry for his behaviour, but he needs you. Although he doesn't show you. He is sometimes a bit complicated. You met him today" with this he looks even more sad than he already was. Oh my dear alec. What have you done to this boy?