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chapter 48.

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Tagged: @yuk_as
naii.mila: our beautiful babygirl, Liliana Rose.
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"I can't believe our little potato is three weeks old." Jaemin coos at Lily and truthfully I'd punch him in the face if she weren't attached to my boob. My hair was sticking to my forehead as it toppled over in a 'bun' and I felt drained. Being a mother was fucking exhausting and I loved every moment of it. Lucas had gone back to work today and Jaemin has volunteered to stay with me for the day. It had become a thing, you could say. Everyday someone else would stay with my so I wouldn't have to be alone with Lily. It's not that I couldn't take care of my own daughter, it's because my incision hasn't fully healed yet and the doctors want me to take it easy.

Today, unfortunately, was Jaemin's turn.

"She's not a fucking potato, Jaemin, if anything you are! That's why you don't have a girlfriend." I squint me eyes at him and he rolls his own at me.

"Actually, shister, I don't have a girlfriend because gay people have boyfriends and I have a boyfriend and his name is Jisung so suck on that bitch." My mouth dropped open and then his did as well as we both processed what he said.

"Y-you and Jisung? Why the fuck didn't you guys tell me you shit head!" I whisper-yelled because Lily was now asleep on my chest and I definitely had no intentions of waking her up again.

"We were keeping it a secret until we were both ready to tell you all but it kinda slipped so now you know!" Jaemin uses fake cheeriness and once again the urge to punch him rises.

The door clicks open just as Jaemin places Lily in her crib and I wish I could run towards Lucas as he comes in. Sadly, no running is allowed for me.

"Bye guys!" Jaemin, who could obviously run, did just that to avoid my further questioning.

Lucas falls onto the bed with me and sighs. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. But it wasn't the 'I'm so happy' sigh, it was the 'I'm not happy' sigh. Each puff of air he let out made me think that he didn't want this anymore. Maybe Renjun was right about him changing his mind. Maybe Lily and I weren't enough anymore. It's only been three weeks since she was born but maybe that was long enough for him to realize that he wanted to live his life.

I was so caught up in my negative thoughts (which I happened to have a lot of recently) that I didn't notice Lucas trying to get my attention.

"Baby are you okay?" He asked me and I turned to face a look of worry. I nodded and gave him my best smile trying to convince him that I was fine. It was better for us if I pretended that I was okay. Maybe it was better because he needed me more than I needed him right now. I didn't want to be selfish and have him take care of me all the time. In reality he was probably sick of me already.

"I brought dinner, do you want to eat?" His face showed skepticism and I hoped that he didn't ask me again. He didn't. Thankfully.

"Yes please, Lily should be out for the night." I smiled at my little girl and reached into her crib to tuck her in more. She looked like an angel, truly.