The negotiations were killing Peter. She turned his bid for counseling down That was his last chance to win her back. He had to accept defeat, and it devastated him.
"It was a long shot," Denise said over the phone.
"If I can't get her back, I want my kids." He was sitting in his car in his work parking lot. He had just been to the daycare.
"They are babies. You'll never get joint custody. You might get every weekend, but overnights might be out until they're older."
"That's what I want then. I want a specific age when overnights start. They'll be a year soon. I doubt she'll be nursing much longer. I know her, and she wants that house, but she'll need money. I grew up poor, I can live without money."
"We'll see where we go. Money hasn't come up yet."
A few days later money came up, and they spoke again.
"She's asking for fifty percent, which means you're right. She wants that house. How far will you go?"
"I don't know. Maybe twenty percent." Peter wasn't sure.
"It needs to be that dollar amount or she'll want every raise you get. We should make some of it alimony, that way if she remarries you're done."
All this talk was killing him. She was being portrayed as someone he no longer recognized. The mention of remarriage was like a stab to his heart. He couldn't even think about her with another man. He was slowly dying, but his children needed him.
"No! Child support all of it. My father split and never gave my mother a penny. I will not do that to my kids."
"You didn't split, she kicked you out. You're making a mistake."
"I don't care."
The process reminded Peter of negotiations for a house. When they bought their house it wasn't that way, but Megan loved watching all those house buying shows. She would watch the people buying their dream vacation home and the ones when they bought a dump to fix up. He and Megan ended up doing both although they never finished fixing it up. After they were living in the house and she watched the first-time buyer shows, she would yell at the screen when they insisted on granite and perfect kitchens. "You can't afford it! You can live with Formica and linoleum, I do!"
This wasn't a house they were negotiating; it was their children's lives. Eventually, they came to terms. They both lost, and he felt like he was paying her to see his kids. He would see his children as much as he could have hoped to. She insisted on never seeing him or talking to him, so they would use her father or another mutually approved person to transport the children. She also insisted that all communication occur via text or email. He wondered why she insisted on no contact with him - most likely because she cared more than she was letting on.
Financially, Peter took the hit and had to pay a lot of child support. He also had to pay childcare, since he liked to hang out there so much, and her legal fees. He would be as poor as he was growing up. He would just have to work hard and get raises.
It relieved him it was done. They avoided court and mediation and as a result expedited the end of their marriage. Even though he didn't want it to end. Denise had been angry with him for giving in, but to him he won. During the school year, he would practically have more waking hours with them than Megan.
The day the divorce was final, Becka came over to be with him. He planned to get drunk, but she stopped him.
"You'll feel worse tomorrow. You've got to keep it together. You fought for those kids. You'll work hard, and then it will be the weekend. You'll put one foot in front of the other and it will get better... eventually."
So instead of drinking, he went to his room and rather unceremoniously took his wedding band off. He refused to think of that couple who were so happy once upon a time. Instead, he went to bed and looked at the pictures on his phone. He tried to stick to Nick and Sophie, but there were pictures of Megan holding them.
One of them, the twins were about a month old and Nick was nursing and Sophie was asleep in her other arm. She was looking down at Nick glowing with love. He took two pictures and the second one she looked up at him and smiled. They were tired and overwhelmed, but she had pure happiness and love on her face.
He had trouble figuring out what he felt about her. He wanted to say hate, but looking at that picture he knew he was fooling himself. He loved her and was afraid he always would.
He woke early the next morning and went for a run. He hadn't run regularly since high school. He ran occasionally before the babies, because he loved running on The Point. So after a few days, he set his routine. He woke early, ran, went to work, spent his lunch at the daycare, work until he couldn't think any longer. Then he went home, to his mother's apartment, and crashed.
He started eating after weeks of not, because he needed the energy to run. The only night he left work on time was Friday, because he worked a shift at Mario's. He was limited to just Friday and Sunday nights. It helped pay for gas and food while he was paying the legal fees.
He started staying over at Ed and Marie's on Saturday nights, because it was easier. Sometimes he got up early on Sunday and ran on The Point. He often thought if he didn't remember what he'd lost, his life wouldn't be so bad. Lonely, but his work and kids were almost enough.
He occasionally talked to a few friends from high school. Word was out about the divorce. One friend said, "Man Bren, you're crazy getting strapped down with kids every weekend."
He tried to explain that was the way he wanted it to be. He was through with going out. He may be young, but he felt old. It surprised him the whole ordeal didn't give him gray hair.
By the time spring was in full bloom, the twins were over one and walking. He would follow them around as they toddled out on the beach. They liked to pick up rocks and shells. He had to be quick and vigilant, or they would put them in their mouths. On Sundays, he would take them to see his mother and Becka, but typically they stayed at the house.
Spring turned to summer. He kept to himself and mourned the day that would be their third anniversary. Summer moved into fall and he couldn't believe he had gone so long without talking to her. Just quick business texts were their only communication. What did you feed them? Blueberries. That would explain those diapers! Got shots both still twenty-fifth percentile. Nick was pulling at ear all day. Another ear infection, medicine goes in fridge give after lunch. Sometimes they shared the joys of parenthood, Nick said excavator! Sophie's artwork, with a picture of a colorful scribble.
Peter was more likely to share pictures and videos than Megan. She always responded with a simple thanks. He often wondered what she did with herself on weekends. He assumed during the school year she corrected papers. In the summer, she worked the breakfast shift. He stayed away from The Landing whenever he had the kids, because he didn't want to upset her.
He faced a new year and the one year mark of the day his life changed forever. Apparently he was not the only one remembering that night. He had heard through the grapevine that the annual party was happening again. He would never attend again. Harmony, the bitch, was there because she texted him. She did periodically mostly trying to get him to hook up with her.
This text was different. Last year was great! I can't believe how easily she fell for it. It was so easy. Smart girl is stupid. I wish I had broken you up years ago. Waiting for you to realize I'm the one you really want. The things we could have done if you weren't passed out. Tonight?
He couldn't believe she admitted it all in a text. He wanted to show Megan, but he knew that she didn't trust him or the bitch. Someday he thought she'd soften.
YOU ARE READING
Shattered Hearts (TP1)
Romance(Complete) Peter isn't prepared for the reality of another man spending the night with his ex. He should be, but his heart has never let her go. Peter, who was abandoned by his father as a young boy, will do anything for his kids. He won't stop unt...
