Find My Heart (boyxboy)

9. A Project

Nathan

"FUCK IT!" I roared, while smashing the shit out of an old wooden dining chair.

"Oh, I hope that wasn't an antique," came an annoyingly prissy voice from behind me.

"I hope it fucking was," I growled back.

I looked over at Ronan and shot him my best warning glare.

"Now, now, my little brooding beast, you know that 'this'" he said waving his arms towards me, with his nose in the air, "is not my, nor that chair's fault."

"Then who's fucking fault is it then? Because I'm just looking to smash someone's face in right now."

"Then go find a mirror you dumb prick!" Ronan snapped back, clearly losing patience with my insolent behaviour.

I couldn't trust my mouth or my fists, so I stormed straight out of the room, bumping Ronan's shoulder on the way out.

I kept going at a military pace until I was deep in the woods, then I changed into my wolf and ran. I knew I couldn't run far like this in broad daylight, so I ran fast and hard, pounding out my frustration in a huge burst of adrenaline filled rage.

I'd raced right around our new grounds before I finally slumped down in a patch of long grass, my tongue hanging out as I panted heavily.

Only now, as my adrenalin subsided did the reality of what happened hit me.

I'd disrespected my alpha.

I'd never done that before. Not here, and not with any of the other packs I had been a part of.

I hung my head down in shame. I knew if I apologised, Ronan would understand. He wasn't as severe as many alpha's could be, but that wasn't the point. I was brought into this pack on my ability alone. I wasn't born into this job, and subsequently, I felt like I had to constantly prove myself. Not that they asked that of me. I just asked it of myself.

No, it wasn't Ronan's fault. I knew exactly whose fault it was.

It was Cole's.

Damn it, why did he keep having to show up in my life? I'd managed to go for nearly 2 months without seeing him, and although the pull was still strong, it was great to think I was two months closer to breaking the bond. Now I would have to start all over again.

What if he kept showing up? What if he never let me break the bond?

It's not like I had much choice over what I did today. I couldn't let him get mauled to death by those brutes. Not that they actually would have killed him. I think.

When we turned into our wolves, our animal instincts often took control of our bodies, and our human logic could take a bit of a back seat. But that didn't mean that it wasn't still in there.

Yes, Cole would have probably got some serious injuries, but they would have held back so as not to kill him. He was trespassing on their land after all.

I closed my eyes and thought of Cole. I couldn't help it. The feeling of him pressed against my chest was still imprinted in my brain. It just felt so warm and comfortable. It just felt so right.

I turned back into my human form, momentarily cursing my wolf for making me have a mate at all.

These feelings were all fake. I knew that. It was just some sort of hormonal rush, brought on by the mating process.

I didn't like Cole. I would never choose to like Cole. It was my body tricking me into thinking I did. And I needed to stay strong and fight it.