Side Effects

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Moriarty is above me, sitting on my stomach. I am covered in blood, shaking from a high dosage of heroin.

"Ready for more?"

I cant speak, cant move. He pulls a needle from the ground next to us, rubbing his fingers across my wrist before pushing it below my skin. I flinch when he leans in, lips brushing against my face. My eyes wont close, watching every thing he is doing to me. The numbness doesnt leave my body, though I can still feel him touching me. Moriarty slowly licks the blood from my face, looking me in the eyes as he does so. I start wriggling when he presses his lips into mine, trying to throw him off. He starts laughing, sucking on my skin as he kisses me again.

"Stop."

I wake suddenly, finding myself tied to a chair in a bare, darkened room. As my eyes adjust to the gloom, I see a figure slumoed over in front of me. I strain to pull my arms loose, wincing as the ropes dig into my skin.

"Look who decided to wake up finally."

Moriartys clear Irish accent rings out, door slamming into the wall as he walks into the room. Johns head snaps up, looking around confusedly before he spots me. Blood glistens over the left side of his face, eye swollen shut. Moriarty walks a slow circle around him, holding a gun to his head when he stops walking.

"Take it."

"Take what?"

He cuts my ties loose, pulling my chair towards a small table. John is struggling, trying to break himself free from the chair. Moriarty picks the gun back up, clicking the safety off before holding it back up.

"Take it."

My hands start shaking, I want it.

"Take it now."

"No, please."

"Or ill shoot him. Take it Sherlock."

I slowly pick up the needle, trying to steady the tremor in my hands. He smiles as I struggle to fight the urge that is bubbling up inside of me to inject myself.

"Do it NOW."

He suddenly bursts out in anger, firing the gun off suddenly. John screams, leaning forward suddenly.

"Fuck!"

Moriarty is still holding the gun up, shoulder height to John.

"John! No please!"

"Sherlock!"

My eyes snap open, I immediately scramble backwards and fall off the bed.

"Hey, Sherlock. Calm down, please."

I move backwards, pulling my knife from under the dresser. John jumps back when I hold it out, both of us panicking equally.

"Put it down, calm down. You're okay Sherlock, I promise."

I slowly lower the knife, letting it slip out of my fingers. John runs over, sliding on the hardwood. He pulls me against him, running his fingers through my hair.

"Shhh...its okay Sherlock. Breathe, just breathe with me. Nothing else, breathe. Thats it."

He starts breathing slowly, calming both of us. I listen to his heartbeat, struggling to relax.

"Are you okay? What happened?"

I'm not fully awake, still trapped in a haze of drugs.

"Sherlock?"

"Moriarty he....he had me. And you...you where there the second time. And he shot you...and..."

"Hey. Look at me Sherlock, you need to calm down."

I'm stuttering, barely able to speak through the fear that is washing over me again.

"Listen to my heart Sherlock. Calm down, I've got you. You're going to be okay, I promise."

He keeps breathing as evenly as he can, still running his fingers through my hair. I sit up finally, unable to resist the urge any longer. John lets me pull his shirt off, checking his shoulder and stomach for the wounds Moriarty caused. I rip my shirt off, looking down in fear of what I will find.

"Sherlock? What are you looking for?"

I flip the lights on, checking John again for injuries.

"Does this have something to do with your meds?"

He pulls me back down, cradling me in his arms.

"You need to calm down. Talk to me, okay?"

"Ye..yeah."

"See? Its okay. Now please Sherlock, tell me what's going on."

I start speaking rapidly under my breath, mimd slowly making connections between everything that is happening.

"Sherlock!"

John snaps at me suddenly, pulling me back out of my thoughts.

"Fine. I'm fine. Medications and drugs...don't match up. Too much...dosent mix well. No overdose, not this time."

"Slow down. Start over, what's going on?"

"I started using again about a month after you left, couldnt stop after I had started. Got hooked again, was really high the night before you came back. Drugs arent fully out of my system yet, that combined with the bloody medications..."

"You what?"

"I started using again. I'm getting clean again, I swear."

"You promised me you where clean the whole time."

"It doesn't matter right now."

"Yes it does. You lied to me, again, and now you are asking me for help. I can't help you unless you tell me everything Sherlock."

"No."

I'm crying again, shrinking away when John reaches out towards me.

"I'm not going to hurt you, please just calm down."

He tries again, wincing when I grab the knife off the floor.

"Dont touch me."

They are back, Moriarty and the others. John is in the way, always in the way.

"John move!"

He lies flat on the hardwood as I scramble up, holding my knife out. I put myself between John and Moriarty, who is talking too loudly. Too many voices, too loud.

"Shut up!"

I drop to the ground suddenly, balling myself up and pressing my hands over my ears. John quickly pries the blade from my hand, taking it out of the room. He doesn't come back for a few minutes, still yelling into his cell when he returns.

"I dont know whats going on! Just get over here soon please!"

He hangs up, tossing his cell onto the bed. I am shaking uncontrollably, screaming when Johns hand touches my shoulder gently.

"Hey, its me. Sherlock? I dont know what to do right now, I dont know how to help you. Please, come back to me. I need you to focus, to calm down please. Come here."

He holds out his arms, wincing as I slam into him. I vaguely remember his shoulder is injured, so I move off of his arm.

"See? You're okay."

I start yelling again, Moriarty walks into the room suddenly. He is holding a gun, pressing it to Johns head.

"No! No please! Please, not John. Please dont hurt him."

"Sherlock, I'm right here. Calm down, please. Just focus on my breathing, okay. You can do this."

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