Mr Kingston's Roommate | ꪜ

Mr Kingston's Roommate|26

Leila's POV
Cloudy thoughts

"You're thinking about what happened back there, aren't you?" Blake asked, his eyes flickering towards me momentarily. I sighed and leaned my head against the window, my eyes fixated on the trees swooshing past us as we sped down the streets. 

"How couldn't I, Blake? Reese could have been anyone else, a-a student, another professor- anyone. And what would have been our explanation to them? Oh we were just innocently shopping together no biggie, yes it might not be a big deal considering our living arrangements but still, not everyone sees it that way."

"You're trying to say something deeper but you're beating around the bush, spit it out." He said calmly, his fingers flexing against the leather steering wheel. I turned to face him, my legs curled up underneath me comfortably as I watched him drive intently. 

"I don't wanna lose you Blake. You make me happy. You've been here for me during my worst and you're always honest with me. But I don't want you to jeopardize your job for me. I'm just another girl or student. You can't risk your future and dream for that."

His grip on the steering wheel tightened and now he was no longer flexing his fingers, his nails were digging into it, but his face was still nonchalant. "Leila, I know what I want and I want you. But if there's one thing I've learnt from my mom; it's to be respectful and understanding of someone's decision.

I want to be straight and honest with you. I don't care for this job, I never have and I never will. I only took it to leave Scotland and it was one of the best paying and quickest jobs on the list of careers I could have taken based on my PhD. Anything else would have taken years to accomplish.

But truthfully, I don't mind leaving it if it means I get to be with you because I'm not losing anything. I have a butt load of money to support me until I can get a new job-maybe even one I actually enjoy. But, if you don't want to stay with me out of fear of my job and reputation, I understand, but know that it wouldn't matter."

One of his hands slid off the steering wheel and he outstretched it towards me. I slipped my hand into his and he intertwined our fingers, his eyes still trained on the road. I was speechless, it was shocking to know that Blake never liked this job. I mean who really becomes a professor unless they have a passion for teaching students. 

And it was more shocking to know he'd give it up just to be with me. 

"Leila, I don't want you to feel pressured, but our relationship now depends on you. Whatever decision you make, whether to continue this or end it before it gets so far off it'll be even more difficult to end-I'll support your decision." He said as he rose my hand to his mouth and lowered his lips down onto it, placing a chaste kiss against my palm.

He didn't want to pressure me, yet I still felt pressured. Because for the first time in a long time I was actually happy. With Reese, I thought I was but I was still suffering silently because we had relationship problems that weren't brought to light for me up until we broke up.

But with Blake, I was genuinely happy. What we had was healthy, it wasn't grown on toxicity and pain or codependency where I needed Reese for emotional support and he needed me for a bed to sleep on at night to flee his toxic family. 

With Blake, this was built on connection, trust, comfort, genuine happiness and even more.

How could I break this up? Knowing that things might never get back to normal and I'd lose Blake someway, somehow, even though he's reassured me we won't lose one another? But how could I let this continue, knowing the risks?