Mr Kingston's Roommate | ꪜ

Mr Kingston's Roommate|32

Leila's POV
Time to say goodbye

Black roses and a single red rose in the middle; my brother's favourite colours. I always thought black was a creepy colour, but Kyle always saw the life in dull things. That was his gift. I knelt before his tombstone, my fingers tracing the crack split down the middle of the rock; a result of my father's anger and frustration the first time we visited him after he died. 

We all lost the pillar of our family, the person who kept us glued as one. Of course, it tore us apart, shoved my mother into a dark hole beyond redemption, my mother who took her anger out on me, the person she blamed for taking her first born's life.

My father was never emotionally or physically abusive towards me. He mostly stuck to himself, defended me against my mother when he needed too and drank his sorrows away whilst also trying to be the strong one for the family.

But when my mother and I had a fight; the biggest fight we ever had ever since Kyle's death, she left. Packed her bags and abandoned us because I finally let her know what a failure of a mother she was. How she should have been there for me as a mother because she wasn't the only one who lost someone they loved. 

Her love for Kyle may have been stronger than mine, but he was still my best friend, my brother, my other half. And that's when my father turned into my new enemy, putting the blame on me for dragging my mother away from us just because I told her the truth and she couldn't handle it. 

He became abusive, unable to control his anger whenever he drank. I never hated my father, he was angry and grieving and no I'm not making excuses for him abusing me, but at the same time some people don't have the resources to help them cope healthily; his coping mechanism was a bottle of alcohol for breakfast lunch and dinner. 

I was seeing a psychiatrist for some time after Kyle died to deal with his death and everything that was happening in the house with my mom and dad. But after my mom left, no one had an interest in paying for my sessions so I sought out comfort somewhere else; in Reese. 

Despite everything Reese has done to me in the past month, I can't act as if he wasn't here for me when no one else was. He didn't owe that to me; the time of his day, a listening ear even before and after we began dating. 

Reese took care of me, he loved me and a tiny part of me has and will always love him. Maybe in the future, that tiny part will fade away but it's not easy getting over someone you loved for so many years so quickly. I may have found Blake, but that was only after Reese and I just broke up.

Reese and I were both one another's destruction. Despite him cheating on me, I did the same to him, maybe not to the extent he did but it showed me whatever we did we wouldn't have worked out and I'm glad we didn't because we were toxic, we were tearing one another's wall down even more than it was already torn. 

But I'll always be thankful to him for being my rock for over four years when no one else was here. 

Kyle Dean Hart
August 8th, 1995 – April 14th, 2014
A loving brother, a loving son. He was gone too soon but not gone for long. Kyle is here and he's here to stay, all we have to do is pray. For he was gone too soon but never left. His spirit will forever be blessed. He's in our hearts and right next to us, Kyle we love you please don't leave us.

"Kyle. . ." I mumbled softly, my hands tracing the words inscribed into the tombstone. These words were mine, I wrote it as my eulogy for his funeral. I never got to finish the poem because I broke down in tears at the podium and ran out of the church as the memories of the night his life was taken before me flashed in my mind.