Mr Kingston's Roommate | ꪜ

Mr Kingston's Roommate|27

Leila's POV
Losing you

"Please assure me I won't get food poisoning after this," Blake exclaimed as he sunk his fork into the macaroni pie, his eyes never leaving mine as he did so. I rolled my eyes, cutting through my pie as well as I stared back at him as intently. 

"I'm joking, come on, we're gonna taste it together." He said as he lowered the fork to his lips. I followed his lead and after counting to three he took a bite of it and began to chew. I took a bite as well, my eyes growing wide as I began to chew on it slowly. 

"This- this is actually good!" 

"Yeah, it is. You're gonna be alright kid," Blake exclaimed, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. I paused, my hands lowering down onto the table. We lapsed into silence and for some reason, I could feel the tension growing between us, not hostile but just a little bit of awkwardness and silence.

"You're thinking about us, aren't you?" I asked softly and at first, he didn't reply. He toyed around with his food, dragging it around the plate as he fixated his eyes onto it, his mind appears to be far. He sighed in response and once again brought the fork to his lips and took a small bite out of the chicken.

"Do you wanna talk about it now, or later." 

"I think ripping off the bandage causes less pain than gradually peeling it off." He responded, his eyes still not meeting mine. I nodded my head in understanding, he did make sense. It was smarter for me to make a decision right here than drag it out for days and make it more painful. 

I wanted to be with Blake, but I also don't want to risk him losing his job. I don't want to end us, I just want to put things on pause for a while, to collect myself, to know exactly what I want, granted that Blake is okay with it because again I don't want to drag anything out.

But I can't make this decision in one night, I need time to have a final answer. 

"I think we should take a break, n-not end things in general just, I want some time to know exactly what I want and to find out exactly what is best for us. I don't want to drag this out but I can't make this decision in one night. I just need some time, but we need to cool things down if you understand?" 

Silence filled the air, yet now I couldn't feel the tension, just nervousness as to what his answer would be. I know he said he'll be supportive of my decision, but this was barely one, we're not ending things indefinitely but we're not going to be together fully.

"Okay." 

"Okay?"

"Yeah, Leila. I meant it when I said I'll respect your decision. Take however long you want, but don't make me suffer." He said before proceeding to eat. I pursed my lips in a thin line, not knowing what my response to that would be. 

I couldn't tell if he was really supportive of my decision or if he didn't like it. Sometimes I couldn't read Blake's feelings and expressions and it frustrated me. That's why I always need him to validate how he feels so I know for a fact.

"Okay," I whispered.

We finished eating in silence and I couldn't tell if there was still tension or if it was a comfortable silence. But after I was done eating Blake went to take a shower whiles I climbed into bed, grabbing one of my books to read for a while.