✖He's Not Mine [An Utterly Ridiculous Dramione Baby Story . . . Sort-of]

FORTY-SIX

DRACO MALFOY NEARLY GOES INTO CARDIAC ARREST

The Burrow had become far too small to host birthday parties. The family was big enough, and the added friends from Hogwarts days as well as new friends from the different workplaces just made the home far too crowded. It was for this reason that Lavender was celebrating her birthday in Pansy's childhood home. She had mentioned the lack of space to the Slytherin, who had in turn mentioned it in casual conversation with her mother, leading up to Althea offering her family home for the celebration.

Lavender had noticed at some point that her best friends were missing, save Hannah. When she approached the Hufflepuff about it, the pair marched into the house and searched high and low for the girls.

It was a little later before someone noticed that birthday girl and her friends were missing. Draco and Harry offered to search inside, while Ron opted to stay where he was and dial his wife's number. He had successfully broken the piñata and was content with each the chocolatey goodness it dropped.

"Where do you think they are?" Harry asked.

Draco shrugged. "Anywhere. Maybe Pansy's bedroom?"

As they passed by the doors to the main bathroom, a girl rushed out. They faintly heard yelling from inside -- something about privacy and manners.

"I heard your wife," Draco said.

"I heard about twelve of her, so don't worry. On another note, I think we found all of them."

After seeing the look on the girl's face, Draco and Harry decided to remain outside. That didn't mean they weren't going to put their ears against the door and listen in to the various voices and try to put a name to each one.

"Did you use both?" Allegra, probably. She had that sort of light and sweet voice.

"Yeah, do it again. Maybe it was a mistake?" No doubt that was Ginny.

"Would you just breathe? I'm sure you'll be fine." Hannah, ever the calm and collected one.

"It's not like it would be the first botched up one." Luna, for sure. Hardly anyone else spoke so daintily. No one was fooled by it, though. They all knew not to cross the witch.

"Just do it again, what's the worst that could happen?" Who else but Pansy would be so blunt when everyone else seemed to have adopted consoling tones?

"Do you want one of us to help?"

"NO, THANK YOU, LAVENDER JESSICA WEASLEY, I CAN DO THIS BY MYSELF!"

Harry snickered. "I might have married an amplifier, but you, mate, are living with the whole surround sound system."

"Piss off, Scarface. I'm trying to listen."

■■■■■

The bathroom had been silent for some time. None of them seemed to want to leave the unnaturally large bathroom, so Hermione had casted numerous charms to hide herself and the toilet away while they all made themselves comfortable.

She was slightly amused to find Hannah and Lavender relaxing in the large bathtub, while Pansy was leaning against the sink and Allegra sat atop the marble. Ginny had decided the floor of the shower was comfortable, and Luna was sitting properly on a chair she'd conjured.

"Well?" they all asked.

Hermione bit her lip. "Don't know yet," she told them honestly. She handed it to Allegra, who set it on the countertop behind her.

Hermione paced the length of the bathroom, her thumbnail between her teeth, watching the steps she took.

"Hermione, we've all seen false positives before," Luna said softly. "It's perfectly normal."