thirteenth doctor one shots (old)

but i'm a time lord. not a bloody ketchup packet! - 13 & yaz

The Doctor sat, curled up in her favourite armchair, biting her thumbnail whilst reading. She was in the TARDIS' library, reading a book she thought she had read before, but wasn't so sure. She'd probably read it in the period of time after Donna had left- she shook her head. That wasn't something she liked to think about. Just as she was about to turn the page, she felt a sharp, aching pain in her lower stomach area. Gasping, she clutched her stomach, her book dropping on the floor. Looking up, her eyes were caught on the doorway, finding out that one of her companions, Yaz, was standing there with her arms folded.

"You good, Doc?" She asked, now walking over to her.

"Um, yeah, I think so. I have these killer pains though, in my lower stomach and a back ache. Also... the feeling that I'm gonna throw up. Probably just a bug, right?" The Doctor looked round.

Yaz laughed, before inhaling sharply and then pausing, "I'm afraid you've become a woman, Doctor," She started snickering again.

"What? You mean-" She trailed off as Yasmin nodded slowly. "I thought that- I thought that I wouldn't have that!"

Her companion raised an eyebrow.

"Shut up!" The Doctor huffed, "I didn't think that I would have... that.. because I have a human body but with two hearts! I thought it was something that I just didn't have. Missy never told me about it, probably because she didn't want me to know, God she's so.." She trailed off.

"Who's Missy?" Yaz asked.

"Look, I'm a Time Lord, not a bloody ketchup packet!" Her hand flew to her mouth as she had realised what she said. Yaz's mouth was hanging open before she started laughing hysterically for multiple minutes. The Doctor looked at her with a frown-y face until she stopped, or at least calmed down, before the pain came back to her. She held her breath, urging for it to disappear so she didn't have to show her struggling in front of her companions.

"Okay, c'mon, I'll give you some tips." Yasmin helped her up, the both of them walking to the kitchen.

"You are such a gem, Doctor, you know that right?" Yaz smiled, "I know I laugh and make fun of you a lot, but, honestly, you're my best friend."

"Yasmin!" She started to tear up, Yasmin trying to hold in her laugh, "T-That's so cute.." She sniffled.

"God, Doctor, you're like a hormonal shit show at the moment," She laughed again, "How're we gonna hide this from the others?"

The Doctor stopped walking, her mouth wide open, "What? You only said those things to make me cry!" Tears fell down her face.

"Oh my- Doc, I meant what I said, but, yeah, a part of me did it because I wanted to see how-" She was cut off when the Doctor leaned in for a hug.

"Aww, Doctor, it's gonna be okay. The first day is always the worst." Yas continued walking her to the kitchen.

The companion opened the medicine cabinet, revealing dozens of boxes of every medicine there is. She pulled out some alien medicine that vaguely matched the description of ibuprofen, but because it was alien she assumed it would work better, and as much she enjoyed to see the Doctor loopy and emotional, she knew how bad the cramps could get. Popping out two tablets from the plastic covering, she then poured the Time Lord a glass of water to wash it down with. The Doctor gulped them down quickly and then moaned,

"Why does it still hurt?!"

"Doctor, you have to wait like ten minutes before it stops hurting!" Yasmin rolled her eyes. "Okay, is there anything you want to eat?"

"Something cold?"

"Okay. Take these and put them on first. Actually, you should probably change your underwear first. Then put them on, and then meet me in the living room, " Yasmin gave her a pack of sanitary towels, and the Doctor looked at her with utter confusion on her face. "The instructions are on the back."

Yasmin collected up the necessary items she'd need (ice cream, a blanket, a hot water bottle, dvds etc.) and set up in the living room. After what felt like hours, the Doctor returned, plopping herself down on the edge of the sofa. She handed her a tub of ice cream and a hot water bottle, and laid a blanket over her.

"Okay, so I just have this crappy old movie that I found in the storage room, it seemed your type so there you go." The human put in the dvd into the player, and left the Doctor curled up on the sofa, snuggled in.

"Thanks, Yas. Means a lot," Yas smiled and left the room.

Later on, her companion came back to check on her, coming across both Graham and Ryan standing in the doorway, chatting to one another.

"What're you two doing?" She raised her eyebrows.

"Somethings up with the Doctor, innit?" Ryan asked.

"Is she ill?" Graham asked.

"Look, she's fine, this is normal for her. I'm just helping her a bit," Yasmin went through to the room.

"She's on her period, isn't she?" Ryan laughed.

"How'd you know?" Yasmin turned round, surprised.

"It's kind of obvious. We do know what it is, Yasmin," Graham replied.

Yasmin rolled her eyes, smiling, and walked over to a content Doctor eating ice cream, her middle finger up facing behind her, towards the two other laughing companions.