Always Forever

As It Should Be

Elijah found that he enjoyed being with Zyanya, his brother and his children it was a far cry from how it was with the rest of his family with this half it was actually quite.... peaceful.... everyday he spent with Zyanya reminded him of why he fell in love with her to begin with he was different around her he felt more free than he has ever been while she was by his side even during his darkest times she was the one who brought him back made him who he "should" be.... yes she stopped going during the "family" visits but that doesn't mean she stopped "meeting up with" him all together there were days that just like the day before the comet passed through Mystic Falls he would see her and believe that he may have been slightly hallucinating until he followed and caught up with her or she stopped and greeted him with a smile.... and even though he loved spending time with his children there were times when he couldn't wait till it was just the two of them.... "why....?!"  Elijah starts "I have one to many excuses for that!.... I wanted you to have your freedom!.... I didn't want to add me to the long list of things and people you worry about!.... I know that your birth family will always come first above all else no matter what and my staying.... would not have been good.... for any of you!.... and not because Rebekah has a slight dislike for me"  Zyanya replies Elijah chuckles softly "you know that you are not the only man my heart yearns for.... and I know that I am not the only woman that your heart yearns for.... you have fallen in love with more women than I have men but I was not going to "get in the way" or make you choose between me or them!.... even that succubus of a witch you fell for while living in New Orleans!"  she adds and once again Elijah chuckles softly "I know how odd it is that the only other men I have ever felt anything for happen to be members of your family.... even though one betrayed me and broke my heart I can't help but still love him!.... I don't think I'll ever stop loving him!.... and with that knowledge of how I feel I know the same goes for you as well.... no matter how many centuries go by whether they still live or have died many years ago you still love them and will never stop loving them and having me in the same vicinity as them would only confuse your heart more than it might have been already.... it's odd.... I know that Niklaus never allowed you to be happy for very long with any of the others but I can't help but believe that he just might have allowed it if it was me that you chose.... and not for MY sake or yours but for Tatiana and Ilyas' sake.... but he will never allow you to be happy if he cannot find his own happiness.... and.... I am uncertain he knows what that may actually be.... he was hurt from the very beginning betrayed by the ones he thought loved him without fault.... and no I'm not talking about you but your mother.... Mikael.... I think he actually knew before he truly found out the full truth.... that didn't give him the right to treat Klaus the way he did for as long as he did especially afterwards but....!"  she pauses "you know what I actually don't have the "proper" excuse to use for that!.... I could say that it was his own upbringing that made him act that way but I have no proof!.... and no matter what excuse I could come up with it was still wrong!.... Niklaus spent his entire life and afterlife living with that betrayal and hate so it's all he knows and even I can't completely make it go away.... I have tried.... I've tried to show him that not everyone is like them that not everyone will betray or hurt him like they did but with the emotional enhancement that you all now live with.... I don't know how I can show him.... I'm still learning about my own.... I spent so long without them.... and my first experiences are what bury themselves the deepest within me.... stick with me the longest.... love is.... complicated!.... I know I feel it but I am uncertain of the "proper" way to express it!"  Elijah looks at her sadly "I stopped coming with the rest of them because I wanted to show our children that they weren't always going to need to be with me for the rest of their lives though I don't believe that that lesson stuck since they're still with me!"  she teases he chuckles "I used to make the excuse that they stay with me so that they could continue to see you since we are now connected but in truth they could always find you even if they weren't with me.... our children are smart.... they would have found a way to get to you.... I have no more excuses when it comes to that for I truly don't know why they stay...."  she tells him he wraps his arm around her and pulls her to him and hugs her kissing the top of her head "I love you Eli.... I'm just not sure how....!"  she starts to say in a whisper like soft voice "shh!"  he whispers into the top of her head and then he kisses it once more....