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33. travel

33.

3:25PM EST • 4:25AM KST

JAE'S POV

Every nerve in my body is tingling. I'm standing in my room with my suitcase in hand and my surely overpacked backpack and I feel as though I am viewing myself from an out-of-body position. This doesn't feel like reality.

This time yesterday I was sleeping in my bed on an ordinary Tuesday. But now— now I am doing something I would have never imagined possible a month ago.

I am traveling out of my country.

And for what? Him.

People would think I'm crazy for doing this after only knowing him for such a little amount of time. But is it crazy? On paper, sure— who in their right mind would travel around the world to discuss their relationship when it's only been a week?

Oh God. I am crazy.

"JaeJe," I hear and then there's a tap on my shoulder.

It brings me out of my thoughts, thankfully, and makes me pay attention to my mom who is standing with me.

I look down at her hands and she is holding two workbooks. I furrow my eyebrows at her as she gestures for me to take them. I take the books and inspect their covers— one is obnoxiously colorful and the other is thick and more serious looking.

They're books for learning Hangul.

"Wow," I say.

I can't help but giggle at the seemingly juvenile first book. There are little animated Asian children working on a puzzle on the cover.

"I figure you will start with the basics," she tells me, "But since you will probably advance quickly, I also bought a more advanced version."

As I'm staring at the books, tears start to form in my eyes. Listening to my mother talk to me in this way because I won't be home has stirred up emotions I didn't realize were existing within me.

I sniffle once and then the tears start to roll down my cheeks. I'm not sobbing— it is more of a sadness yet to be deciphered through innocent slow rolling tears.

I lift my hand to wipe them away and suddenly I'm in an embrace.

"I'm scared," I admit into her chest. I'm almost too shocked to speak.

It's odd but also assuring when I feel her hand patting my back.

"Here," she says.

I glance in between us and she's giving me a small piece of paper. There is an address and a phone number written in her hand writing.

"If anything happens to you—"

"Are you sure? Dad said—"

"Jae," her eyes widen as she interrupts me, "Family is family."

I want to roll my eyes but I can't as her eyes are lasering me. I swallow hard and nod at her. Family is family? Not when you've abandoned them for about twenty years...